Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People are facing many health issues nowadays. Obesity is one of them. Some people believe that advertisements are responsible for the obesity, therefore it should be banned, while others argue that it should not be banned because people themselves choose to eat unhealthy food which may cause the body fat. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe that advertisements play an important role to influence people to eat junk food.

On the one hand, advertisements

Are the reason to increase the obesity among people. For example, many supermarkets and companies often advertise their food product to put them on discounts which attracts more customers. As a result, people prefer cheap and easy affordable food which is more likely to get more body weight. Therefore, it is often believed that it should be prohibited for the public, so that people can prefer health food which helps to stay healthy, fit and more active.

On the other hand, advertisements related junk food not always responsible for obesity. There are some reasons like people’s lives is so busy and they have no time to prepare food by themselves, instead of it, they prefer readymade food such as pizza, burger, which makes their body feel more lazy and less energetic. In addition, hectic lifestyle also contributes to increase the weight and other health issues. Consequently, it is their own fault to eat too fast food which causes them more stress and anxiety and leads to increase weight rather than blame to advertisements.

In conclusion, although it is the choice of people to stay healthy and eat healthy, some attractive food advertisements may have more impact on people’s health. I believe that it is duty of government and local authorities to ban the companies who influence people to eat junk food.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The position is consistent throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'discounts' in the first body paragraph is a good start but lacks specific evidence or a deeper explanation of how this directly leads to obesity. Similarly, the second body paragraph mentions 'hectic lifestyles' but could be more effectively linked to the counter-argument regarding advertising. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with concrete examples or logical consequences.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'instead of it, they prefer readymade food.' Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'rather than blame to advertisements' at the end of the second body paragraph, which lacks a clear subject. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'prohibited' and 'hectic,' which are used appropriately. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'get more body weight' (gain weight), 'eat too fast food' (fast food), and 'blame to advertisements' (blame advertisements). Expanding the range of academic collocations and refining word choice would help move the score into the 7.0 range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the obesity'), prepositions ('blame to'), and verb forms ('advertisements... Are the reason'). Some sentences are slightly disjointed, such as 'advertisements related junk food not always responsible,' which is missing a verb. While the errors do not impede communication, they are persistent. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles in academic writing.

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