Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Health is wealth. Healthy generation makes the future society. Obesity is one of the major health problem that the generation is facing in this era. Obesity or overweight contribute to various health issues and life style diseases. In my opinion, junk food advertisement has a major role in contributing to the hunger drive which in turn leads way to weight gain and eventually to obesity.

The major issues with the advertisement is that it makes one feel like eating it with the attractive way of presentation. The presentation skill makes ones mouth watering and eventually makes us feel to try it once.

Another contributing factor to over weight is the combo offers that comes with most of the add. People think that if I spend and dollar or two, I will get a drink and some sides along with the main course, but never think about the sugar or the calories that are being ingested at once.

Thirdly, other than the advertisement, talking about a food from a restaurant and new food suggestions are another most important factor contributing to the weight gain. The suggestions from others and human desire to try experiment these are never ending.

In conclusion, simply banning the advertisement doesn't contribute to any changes in the society. People should start thinking about the need for a healthy life style choices and need to start working hardly for it. One should be able to say 'NO' to their cravings. Maintaing proper diet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which negatively impacts the task achievement score. While you address both sides of the argument and provide a personal opinion, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The discussion on the 'pro-ban' side is clearer, but the 'anti-ban' side is not explicitly addressed as a distinct viewpoint, making the essay feel slightly unbalanced. To improve, ensure you fully explore both perspectives with specific examples and ensure the essay meets the length requirement to allow for sufficient depth of argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited (e.g., 'The major issues', 'Another contributing factor', 'Thirdly'). The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is a bit abrupt. Additionally, the conclusion is incomplete, as the final sentence is a fragment ('Maintaing proper diet'), which disrupts the flow of the argument. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, complete concluding thought would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision expected at higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'obesity', 'lifestyle diseases', and 'ingested', but there is also some repetitive and slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'hunger drive' and 'try experiment these'. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'add' instead of 'ad' or 'advertisement'. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and avoid informal or repetitive language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'Obesity is one of the major health problem' should be 'problems', and 'the combo offers that comes' should be 'come'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the text. The final sentence is incomplete, which is a significant grammatical error. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring all sentences are complete will help improve your accuracy.

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