Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is claim that junk food ads should be eliminated as it mainly worsens being overweighted, while others believe that there might distinct causes leading to this problem. Personally, obesity happens according to self-awareness or constitution and both perspective will be claried in this essay.

Initially, eating numorous fast food gains more weight but their ads cannot be a cause as it cannot work without consumers. Junk food ads are launched to promote products and gain more customers but they did not force customers to purchase. Production and consumption have interrelationship, if noone ate fast food then there would be no ads. Secondly, beside junk food, eating sweet and fat are the causes to obesity. Various people do not have junk food but they still gain weights because of eating too much candies or products containing fat.

On the other hand, those ads has stimulated consumer curiousities, creating fomo phenomenom. Businesses often create ad contents with delicious scenes for example, adding color filters, sound effects to make consumers believe that their food is tasteful. However, self-awareness and self-discipcline play important role in keep weight. If humans are resoluted and can maintain healthy lifestyles through excersing and eating habit control, obesity would not happened.

In conclusion, although junk food ads do have impact on human eating habit, causing obesity, it is not the main factor as there are various indicators in daily life. I believe the main cause comes from unstable self-discipcline in each person, easily being attracted by fast food.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the argument against banning advertisements is supported by the idea of consumer agency, the counter-argument regarding the influence of marketing is less thoroughly explored. The conclusion summarizes the position well, but some points, such as the mention of 'fomo phenomenom', are introduced briefly without sufficient elaboration. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully extended with concrete examples or logical consequences. The position is consistent throughout the essay, meeting the requirements for a balanced discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Initially', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition from discussing fast food to general dietary habits in the second paragraph is a bit abrupt. Referencing is generally clear, though some phrasing, such as 'both perspective will be claried', is slightly awkward. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to a coherent structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use more sophisticated terms like 'interrelationship', 'self-discipline', and 'resoluted'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice or non-standard collocations, such as 'being overweighted' (should be 'overweight'), 'numorous fast food' (should be 'numerous fast food items'), and 'fomo phenomenom'. Spelling errors like 'excersing' and 'claried' also occur. While these do not impede communication, they limit the score. Expanding the range of topic-specific vocabulary and ensuring accurate word forms would improve the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('those ads has stimulated', 'obesity would not happened') and incorrect article usage. Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'There is claim that...' which lacks an article. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentence structures are used accurately. The punctuation is generally functional, but the overall control of grammar needs more consistency.

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