Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In my point of view advertising junk food is major cause of obesity, as people fascinate about the food they watch online, specifically the ASMR or Mukbang videos, they watch it and than they want to have it,

As in my own experience whenever i saw something online or any type of advertisiment i want to have that food, even though i know that it will contribute in gaining weight, but i still order it or want to have it.

So in my perspective, advertising junk food plays important role in obesity.

In cities people mostly stay awake late at night, it is also the major cause of obesity, so contributing all the factors the chances of obesity become double, and now it is the major problem not only the obesity but other problems with this issue like high blood pressure, diabetes, laziness, tirdness, mood swings, so basically its not the only problem it will cause other problems too.

Now if we talk about the other perspective that is it advertising does not contribute to the problem is also valid, as some people has self control and they know how to stay healthy, and what is good for their health so they avoid to have junk food even if they saw something online they still dont want it, plus some people has appetite control and they can control their appetite, so they dont get fascinate about the food or any type of advertisiment.

In conclusion, this mostly depend on the person ability to know what is good for their health and what is not.

But eating junk, or fascinating from the advertisiment can may lead to the obesity and other problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments regarding the influence of advertising are somewhat repetitive and rely heavily on personal anecdotes rather than broader societal analysis. The discussion of the opposing view is brief and lacks depth. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations and perhaps provide concrete examples of how advertising strategies specifically target vulnerable groups, rather than focusing solely on your own experience.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The transition between ideas is often abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'so', 'and'). Some sentences are run-on, such as the first sentence of the second paragraph, which makes the flow difficult to follow. Paragraphing is present but does not always effectively group related ideas; for instance, the discussion of health consequences is somewhat disconnected from the main argument about advertising. Improving the use of linking words like 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'however' would significantly enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There is a reliance on simple, repetitive language (e.g., 'major problem', 'have it', 'good for their health'). Some word choices are imprecise or non-standard, such as 'fascinate about' instead of 'are fascinated by' or 'contributing all the factors'. There are also minor spelling and grammatical errors in word forms, such as 'tirdness' and 'advertisiment'. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often punctuated incorrectly or contain grammatical errors, such as comma splices (e.g., '...online, specifically the ASMR...'). There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'some people has self control', 'the major cause of obesity'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally cause the reader to pause, though they do not completely impede communication. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring correct punctuation, particularly avoiding run-on sentences.

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