Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is widely believe that junk foo can be the causes of obesity and other believe that junk food is contribute to the problem of obesity. Junk food like pizza ,burger, it can effect your health problem, but junk food is not only the reason to gaining weight. Other factor such as lack of exercise and laziness is also the source of obesity. This essay will discuss perspectives before explaining why i believe that junk food is the main kind of obesity.
On the one hand, some individuals believe that junk food is the predominant reason to increasing weight. For illustrate, now a days people consume massive amount of junk food such as pizza ,burger due to the enomorios advertising of junk food. Furthermore, when the junk food had alot of calories and when every individuals consume junk food, it can automatically gain weight. However, junk food is the causes of health disease and disease can be the source of obesity.
On the other hand, some individuals understand that junk food advertising is not enhance the crisis of obesity , people gain weight owing to lack of exercise and the habit of laziness. For instance, day-by-day people eat unhealthy food but do not focus their exercise like they do not want to go for morning walk and exercise and the other reason is laziness, lazy people have more obesity problem. However, junk food advertising is only advertising their products. In addition, what people chose to eat ,its only up to them. In my opinion, people have their own right to what they want eat.
some societies, believe that junk food advertising is the reason to enhance weight such as chines food, pizza and burger . but other people believe, that junk food advertising is not the reason to increase the problem on obesity, its a person choice of what they want to eat or its a lack of exercise and due to laziness. In my point of view , that people choice their own food , advertising just introduce their products.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. For example, the argument regarding 'laziness' and 'lack of exercise' is mentioned multiple times without being expanded upon with sophisticated reasoning or evidence. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack depth and academic rigor. The essay tends to over-generalize, and the conclusion merely restates the introduction rather than synthesizing the points discussed. To improve, you should focus on developing each body paragraph with more specific examples and logical explanations that directly link to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand' and 'For instance', they are sometimes used incorrectly or in a mechanical way. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the flow of ideas becomes repetitive and circular. The transition between the two viewpoints and your own opinion is not smooth, making the overall structure feel somewhat fragmented. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'junk food', 'obesity', and 'advertising' without demonstrating a wider range of academic vocabulary. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation, such as 'junk food is contribute to' instead of 'contributes to' and 'enomorios advertising' (spelling error). The repetition of phrases like 'gain weight' and 'source of obesity' suggests a restricted range. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more precise synonyms and academic collocations, and ensure that you check for basic spelling errors before finalizing your work.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'It is widely believe', 'junk food is contribute'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain errors in complex structures, such as 'For illustrate, now a days people consume...'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and incorrect capitalization. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic errors is essential.
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