Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Obesity has become a major people among the young and older people. Some people believe that this problem mainly arise due to junk food advertisements, while others argue that advertising fast food does not the reason of obesity and should not prohibited. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe that attractive videos and pictures often encourage people to eat more unhealthy food items.

On the one hand, when high quality food videos are shown by the governments and companies often attracts people’s attention towards the food products. As a result, more people try to taste the food and slowly become addicted to eat junk foods such as pizza, burger regularly which has adverse effects on their body. Consequently, these types of advertisements should be banned so that people cannot attracted towards the same unhealthy food items again and again.

On the other hand, it is not necessary that only advertisements can only the reasons to make them habit to eat junk foods such because many people have their own choices and ideas which they cannot change. For example, if people have busy schedule, they always prefer easily available foods items without thinking its negative consequences on health. Therefore, making blame on food advertisements is not a good idea. Therefore, advertisements should not banned because they just inform consumers about the product and the food. It is the choice of people at the end that they want to eat or not.

In conclusion, although people can take knowledge about the new food items by watching advertisements, they may also encourage people to eat more unhealthy and less processed food. I believe that government should take strict action or should be banned for the rest of the country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument against banning advertisements relies on the concept of 'busy schedules' and 'personal choice,' which is relevant but could be expanded with more depth. The conclusion is slightly contradictory, as it mentions that advertisements provide knowledge but then suggests a total ban, which lacks nuance. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a more thorough explanation of the underlying reasons for the stated positions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, there is some mechanical use of these devices, and some transitions are slightly repetitive or awkward, such as the repeated use of 'Therefore' in the third paragraph. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final sentence where 'should be banned' lacks a clear subject, making the connection between the government action and the advertisements slightly disjointed.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'addicted,' 'processed food,' and 'adverse effects.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'major people' instead of 'major problem,' 'making blame' instead of 'blaming,' and 'take knowledge' instead of 'gain information.' These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the range and precision of the language used, preventing a higher score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'this problem mainly arise' (subject-verb agreement), 'does not the reason of obesity' (missing verb), 'cannot attracted' (passive voice error), and 'should not banned' (missing auxiliary verb). While the meaning remains clear, these persistent errors in basic sentence construction and verb forms indicate a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, focus on ensuring that auxiliary verbs and subject-verb agreements are consistently applied in all sentences.

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