Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is an ongoing debate regarding obesity problem. A group of individuals believe that junk food is sole catalyst for this problem. However, others argue that junk food is not responsible for this issue. Therefore, ahead of my opinion, both the view will be discuss further.

Examining the former opinion, the primary argument the supporters would put forward is junk food advertisement publish by famous celebrities. This is because in this modern era people love to follow social media and they like to follow their ideal such as actor, sport players and so on. For example, Bollywood actor Sharukh khan advertising for chips then follower of his try to eat these type of food. but in real life he avoid these foods due to unhealthy. In addition, they also believe that it is harmful for human body because doctor always recommend that avoid these type of junk food. The reason is unhealthy food give numerous side effects on human body such as heart disease and obesity.

On the contrary, those in favor of the latter opinion have their own arguments. To begin with, they claim that junk food is not only primary driver for obesity because lifestyle also plays a vital role for obesity. For instance, these days people get easily stress due to their financial problem even it is some personal problems due to this some of them cannot sleep. they do not have much time for their on enjoyment due to their busy schedule. they have used to medication for relaxation. the result is obesity.

To conclude and offer my position, they are convincing arguments both for and against junk food advertising. However, i certainly favor the former opinion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument regarding celebrity advertising is mentioned but not fully explored in terms of its psychological impact or regulatory implications. Similarly, the counter-argument regarding lifestyle factors is introduced but lacks depth, relying on a list of stressors rather than a cohesive analysis of how these factors interact with obesity. The position is stated at the end, but it is not clearly integrated into the body paragraphs, which limits the overall impact of the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'ahead of my opinion' and 'the former opinion' are used, but the transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt. There is a lack of variety in linking words, and some sentences feel disconnected, particularly in the second body paragraph where the flow between 'stress' and 'medication' is disjointed. While the paragraphing is functional, the internal cohesion needs more sophisticated signposting to achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'sole catalyst' (which is acceptable but used in a simplistic context), 'follower of his try to eat', and 'they have used to medication'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, and there is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic expressions. To improve, you should focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring that word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'advertising for chips'), subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'both the view will be discuss'), and punctuation mistakes. The sentence structure is often repetitive, relying on basic subject-verb-object patterns. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar—such as verb tense and pluralization—prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. More attention to proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy is essential.

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