Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In some community, corpulence is regarded as a bigger problem. Some people believe that unhealthy food advertising is majorly to blame for this issue and should be banned. However, others claims that unhealthy food commercial does not play role to the issue of obesity and should not be prohibited. Therefore, ahead of my opinion, both the views will be discussed further.
Examining the former opinion, the primary argument the supporters would put forward is unhealthy food commercial is play vital role in obesity's issue. It encourages unhealthy eating. This is because through advertisement people came to know about different junk food brand's location and offers so they eager to try out different junk food. In addition, they also believe that junk food advertisement has strong effect on children because children are easily influenced by co0lorful ads and may ask parents to buy junk food.
on the contrary, those in favour of the latter opinion have their own arguments. To begin with, they claim that commercial is not the main cause personal lifestyle and choices also cause obesity because obesity also depends on overeating, lack of exercise, and unhealthy daily habits. Moreover, They also believe that advertisement does not force people to buy. People can choose healthy food and control how much junk food they consume.
To conclude and offer my position, there are convincing arguments both for and against junk food commercial to blame for the issue of obesity and the people who believe advertisement not only cause of obesity. However, I would partly agree with both, but say that junk food commercial contributes to obesity, especially among children, but it is not only cause.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal position in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding children is relevant but could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis of the psychological impact of advertising. The introduction is slightly repetitive, and the conclusion, while clear in its stance, lacks a strong summary of the main points discussed. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more thorough exploration of the points raised rather than just listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'on the contrary', and 'To begin with' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing and some awkward transitions, such as 'Therefore, ahead of my opinion'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is functional but lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for higher bands. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used naturally would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations. For example, 'corpulence' is an unusual choice for 'obesity' in this context, and 'majorly to blame' is informal. There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'commercial' used as a countable noun without an article or pluralization. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'prohibited' and 'influenced', the range is somewhat limited. To improve, focus on using more natural collocations and ensuring that vocabulary is used with greater precision and stylistic appropriateness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('others claims', 'advertisement... are play'), missing articles ('in some community'), and awkward phrasing ('the people who believe advertisement not only cause of obesity'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. The range of complex structures is limited, and the control over punctuation and sentence construction needs improvement. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly raise the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.