Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modern world individuals tend to rely on junk foods instead of home-made healthy foods. Globally, it is become a serious health concern. Major issue of eating junk food is obesity and this essay will discuss about effect of advertising for this problem.

nowadays, advertisements plays crucial role in promoting products and adverisers do not think of their quality parameters or impact on health. their only goal is to promote their product and automatically encourage consumers to buy their product willingly. So some people believe that it is essential to ban these kinds of commercials from every platform. As an example, specially younger generation more rely on fast foods compared to the past generation. These products include harmful chemicals which contribute to keep foods survive for long and increase taste. They may be harmful to human body as well as increase body weight by additional fat include in those junk foods.

Obesity is not just a problem. It can leads to numerous problems to peoples as well as government too. Obesity increase the risk of to many serious medical emergencies such as heart attacks and strokes. So it can be a burden to the health care sector. If our younger generation face obesity in high proportion which means government and family together have to take care of them and they have to face financial hurdels and emotional instability. These things can be a reason people think that it is essensial to ban advertisement about junk foods.

People always can choose what they want do in their life. it is a previledge of being human being. Advertising is only one method which promote their products and people can always check ingredients and quality by checking the cover of product. if someone needs further details that person can check on google or the relevant websites or they can rely information on health care proffesionals. So there is no need to directly ban advertisement because people can decide it going through above mentioned details.

In conclusion, my opinion is really crucial to ban the advertisements which stimulate people to buy their harmful junk foods. Consider about the damage can do it to our future generation, it is essescial to stop usage of such items in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the arguments regarding the negative impact of advertising are clear, the counter-argument regarding personal choice is less thoroughly explored. The conclusion is slightly contradictory; you state that people should have the privilege of choice, but then conclude that it is essential to ban advertisements. To improve, ensure your position is consistent throughout the essay and provide more specific, real-world examples to support your claims rather than relying on general statements about 'younger generations' or 'government burdens'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'As an example', 'So', and 'In conclusion', but some transitions feel mechanical or repetitive. For instance, the use of 'So' to start sentences is frequent and informal. Referencing is generally clear, though the flow between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more fluidly, and ensure that each paragraph transitions naturally into the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the message to be communicated clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'emotional instability' and 'financial hurdles'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor spelling errors, such as 'previledge' (privilege), 'essensial' (essential), and 'proffesionals' (professionals). Additionally, some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'contribute to keep foods survive'. To improve, focus on accurate spelling and refining collocations to sound more academic and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('advertisements plays', 'it can leads') and article usage. Some sentences are also slightly fragmented or run-on. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, pay closer attention to basic subject-verb agreement and proofread for small errors in verb forms and pluralization, which will help increase the accuracy of your complex sentences.

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