Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In these days, advertisement are on escalating at an alarming rate due to this obesity is a main problem because individuals see junk food through advisements so they assume it should be banned while other think it should not be banned. I will discuss both views along with my viewpoints in following paragraphs.
On the one hand, advertisements are big problems because people watch distant types of junk food through it by dint of this they think they should try and when they like those food so they order on daily basis and do not prefer to eat homemade food which put negative effect on people's heath. For example, the survey was conducted in Vancouver in 2018, 40% individual who had obesity only by eating fast food in their daily life.
On the other hand, advertisements are play important role in individuals life and in their business. When people open any new restaurant so it helps them to promote their business which really ideal for their economic growth.Moreover, nowadays people do not prefer to do morning walks and any exercise so they become fatty so fast food not only problem. If they do exercise like yoga so it will really fruitful for them so advertisements should not be banned.Furthermore, people do not have time to make homemade food because of their busy schedule so they prefer to order food from outside which leads to obesity.
In my viewpoint, advertisement should not be banned because it plays crucial role in economic growth.
To conclude, obesity is not only with eating junk food but also for not to do exercise so it is advisable to say that people should eat junk food but in limit.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding economic growth is mentioned but not fully explored in relation to the obesity crisis. The example provided (40% of individuals in Vancouver) lacks sufficient context or credibility to effectively support the point. While the task is addressed, the arguments remain somewhat superficial and rely on generalizations. To improve, you should provide more detailed explanations and more logical connections between the advertising industry and public health outcomes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'by dint of this' are used incorrectly, and the transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt. For example, the shift from discussing economic growth to the lack of exercise is jarring. While there is a clear overall progression, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the occasional misuse of referencing make the flow feel somewhat disjointed. Improving the variety and accuracy of your transition signals will help achieve a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms such as 'big problems', 'fatty', and 'good'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'advertisements are on escalating' and 'really ideal'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of more sophisticated or academic vocabulary limits the score. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to health, economics, and media, and avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('advertisement are', 'advertisements are play'), article usage ('the survey was conducted'), and awkward phrasing ('not only with eating junk food but also for not to do exercise'). While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher level of accuracy. You should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed correctly.
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