Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many, modern societies obesity has emerged as a emerged as a significant health crises Their are two school of thoughts as some say that obesity is due to frequently advertising different junk food brands and people are attracted due to it. The other school of thought says that advertising is not the problem of obesity but it is due to the genetics they have in their body as well as due to no physical activity. In my opinion, i strongly agree that the advertising of different fast food chains is the biggest problem due to which obesity is increasing day by day. Due to this disease many people are suffering from severe heath issues like heart attacks, liver issue, as well as many people are having high sugar issue at a very young. This is increasing day by day and nothing has been done to control this thing. However many people in our country are overweight and have breathing issues, panic attacks and are suffering from depression. As far as, government should stake some serios actions on controlling these ads and they should band all these ads and social media advertising so that people can work on their obesity. Furthermore all food bloggers those who are advertising different junk food places should be banned on social media. Government should promote healthier life style and their should be old ads shown related to gym, yoga, cardio and regular walk. If as a society we will work on it we will be a healthier nation and we will be able to enjoy every moment of life without pain and medicines.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that advertising contributes to obesity, the supporting arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the discussion on health issues is a list of symptoms rather than a logical explanation of how advertising influences consumer behavior. The opposing view—that genetics and lack of exercise are the primary causes—is mentioned but not sufficiently explored or contrasted with the advertising argument. To improve, ensure each body paragraph provides a distinct, well-reasoned argument supported by specific examples or logical chains of thought rather than just stating opinions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which makes the progression of ideas difficult to follow. It is presented as a single block of text, which is a significant weakness in terms of structure. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'However' and 'Furthermore', they are sometimes used incorrectly or in a way that does not effectively link the ideas. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the overall flow is somewhat disjointed. To achieve a higher band, you must organize your response into clear paragraphs: one for the introduction, one for each side of the argument, and one for the conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word-choice errors, such as 'stake some serios actions' (take serious action) and 'band all these ads' (ban). You rely on a limited set of words, and some expressions are repetitive, such as 'increasing day by day'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and pay closer attention to collocations. Expanding your range of synonyms and using less common lexical items accurately would significantly enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Their are two school of thoughts'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain errors in complex structures, such as 'As far as, government should stake some serios actions'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic errors and practicing more complex sentence structures would be highly beneficial.

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