Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's contemporary world, obesity is one of the alarming conditions in the human populace which require some serious attention from an individuals and authorities. Further, this essay would discuss about fast food advertising and its impact on the society and also a personalized view that would be articulated in trail paragraphs.

To commence with, the advocates believe that advertising junk food is most prominent reason for obesity which consumed by human race has been significantly alleviated. Moreover, in today's materialistic world accessibility of the internet has proliferated society's attention towards high-calorie high-fat food which is quite feasible over mobile devices and easy to order and taste despite the fact of adverse effects on an individual's health. Additonally , the work-life balance of today's youth push themselves to consume such kind of food which mitigate the time from preparing a healthy balanced diet .

On the flip side, proponents believe that advertisement is not the sole reason behind the obesity as there are numerous different campaigns available in the market which can lead to a fruitful direction for a society, it just depends on the mindset of an individual using it and shouldn't be prohibited. Furthermore, majority of states are democratic nations possess fundamentals on the freedom of speech, write and campaigning should not be hindered, as not all advertisements signify towards the obesity of the human population.

On a close scrutiny, after considering arguments from both former and later views it can be concluded that fast food advertising could be the reason behind the issue of obesity however, from my perspective merits of advertisements outweighs the demerits and shouldn't be prohibited as ultimately it depends on an individual's choice of exploration.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the 'advocates' is slightly confusing, as the phrase 'which consumed by human race has been significantly alleviated' is unclear and does not logically support the point about junk food advertising. The second body paragraph touches on freedom of speech, which is a relevant point, but the connection between 'campaigns' and 'obesity' remains vague. To improve, ensure that each point is fully explained with concrete examples rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'On the flip side', and 'Furthermore', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'On a close scrutiny'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for example, in the second paragraph, it is not entirely clear what 'which' refers to in the context of the sentence structure. Overall, the progression of ideas is coherent, but the flow could be more natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated language like 'contemporary world', 'proliferated', and 'mitigate'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations. For example, 'alleviated' is used incorrectly in the context of obesity, and 'the human populace' is slightly unnatural. There are also minor errors such as 'Additonally' (spelling) and 'trail paragraphs' (likely meant 'body paragraphs'). While the meaning is generally clear, the range is limited and lacks the precision required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'require some serious attention from an individuals' (article/plurality error), 'advertising junk food is most prominent reason' (missing article), and 'which consumed by human race' (missing auxiliary verb). While the writer attempts complex structures, the control over them is inconsistent. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the sentence construction often lacks the necessary precision to be considered error-free.

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