Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this modern world, obesity is considered such a big problem. Most of the people blame to junk food advertisement and they say that junk food is the reason behind obesity and the advertisement of these products should have to be banned. But on the other hand, people thinks that junk food advertisement is not a reason behind obesity. So, we shold not have to blame that.

I totally disagree with those people who think that advertising of junk food had contribution in obesity. They prefer that these type of advertisement should have to be banned. In the below paragraphs I will give reson with example.

First reason of obesity is that people eat a lot of junk food in the evening and after eating that much food they sleep on their bed and do not walk. I think everyone who is living on the planet doing the same mistake. We should have to wak for atleast 15-20 minutes after eating food. Second reason of obesity is eating too much street food. These vendors use too much oil in their food and even that oil is not clean and contains a lot of diseases. Moreover, they use different ingredients and these are not suitable for our health many people ignore these things and eat the food it directly effects their health and most of their stomach that causes obesity. So,at first we have to check the reviews of the food.

In conclusion, I just say if we are going to eat anything first we have to check the reviews of the food. Secondly, we should have to walk after eating food.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but fails to discuss both views adequately. While you mention that some people blame advertising and others do not, you do not explore the arguments for why advertising might be considered a factor. Instead, you focus entirely on your own opinion regarding lifestyle choices. The task requires a balanced discussion of both perspectives before presenting your own. Furthermore, your position is somewhat contradictory; you state you disagree with those who blame advertising, but you do not provide a counter-argument to support why advertising should not be banned. To improve, ensure you dedicate a paragraph to each side of the argument before concluding with your own view.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The introduction is repetitive, and the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. While you use some cohesive devices like 'First', 'Second', and 'In conclusion', the flow of ideas is often disjointed. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'I totally disagree with those people who think that advertising of junk food had contribution in obesity', where the connection to the previous paragraph is not well-managed. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'big problem', 'junk food', and 'reason'. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'blame to junk food advertisement' instead of 'blame junk food advertising' and 'most of their stomach that causes obesity'. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but it is often used incorrectly or in a simplistic manner. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and collocations related to health, marketing, and societal issues, while ensuring they are used in the correct grammatical context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the essay relies heavily on simple sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('people thinks', 'it directly effects'), incorrect verb forms ('should have to be banned', 'should not have to blame'), and missing articles. These errors are persistent and occasionally make the meaning difficult to follow. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement. Once you have a solid foundation, practice using a wider variety of complex structures, such as relative clauses or conditional sentences, to demonstrate greater grammatical control.

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