Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years in some communities, obesity is considered as a significant problem. some people believe that advertising of fast food is one major blameand it should be banned. While other groups of people argue that there is no contribution of advertisement of junk food to the obesity and it should not be forbidden.

On the one hand supporters of the first view believe that some people suggest that advertisement of fast food should be banned because it influence people specifically young people to consume it often, which cause some health related issues. This means that prohibiting ad of nutritionally poor food affect on people mindset and it attracts young generation to consume it more by promoting it in different social media platforms. As a result people keen to try those food items and which cause them suffer from obesity. For example , American young adults who are always scrolling on instagram and other platforms, sometimes they show discounts on some outlets of burgers and pizza which makes them buy more than they generally eat, therefore americans often have weight- related problems.

On the other hand people who supports second view argue that ad should not be banned because what to eat is totally depends on individuals craving control. In other words person invent some specific food items have a legal right to show advertisement of their products and because of some members who do not have proper diet routine and not control on what they eat, it might be illegal to outlwed junk food advertisement. For instance, business owners of fatty and sugery food or people who cook these types of dishes do not suggest that eat their food evey single day, it is individuals personal cravings problem who makes them eat often and which leads to rising levels of obesity.

In conclusion, although obesity epidemic is very serious issue in some populations and advertisement is the biggest cause for that. However i completely in unison with later opinion because i believe that every person needs to follow proper meal routine and try control their constant desired to eat high-calorised food.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While the first body paragraph provides a relevant example regarding social media, the second body paragraph relies on somewhat repetitive arguments about 'personal cravings' and 'individual control.' The conclusion is slightly contradictory, as it acknowledges obesity as a serious issue caused by advertising but then dismisses the impact of advertising entirely in favor of personal responsibility. To reach a higher band, ensure that arguments are balanced and that the personal opinion is integrated more logically with the preceding analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'which cause them suffer from obesity' or 'it might be illegal to outlwed.' Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the link between business owners and the argument about personal responsibility is a bit disjointed. Overall, the progression of ideas is coherent, but the flow could be improved with more sophisticated linking phrases.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'nutritionally poor,' 'obesity epidemic,' and 'high-calorised.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'one major blame,' 'prohibiting ad,' 'constant desired,' and 'in unison with.' Spelling errors like 'outlwed' and 'sugery' also occur. To improve, the student should focus on learning common collocations and refining their use of academic terminology to avoid these minor inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, they are frequently marred by grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('the advertisement'), incorrect verb forms ('which cause them suffer'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('what to eat is totally depends'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and misplaced commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic grammatical agreement would be beneficial.

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