Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's fast-paced world, there are a number of factors accountable behind the increase of health risks. Similarly, obesity is perceived as a jeopardy socially. The reason however, according to some people is the promotion of unhealthy snacks via advertisements is the main culprit and must be eliminated. Whereas, others deny the idea. Although, the videos surfacing on television and internet are alluring, it completely depends on the individual. I personally believe that people should opt for healthy as well as tasty alternatives in order to alleviate obesity.

To commence with the proponents, advertising agencies lure people by excellent and alluring exhibition of junk food, which becomes irresistible for some people. As a result, rate of consumption of unhealthy food rises. For instance, the business of a fast food eatery skyrocketted after it was praised by a social media influencer on an online platform.

In contrast, a person in their complete state of mind have the capability to take decisions therefore, it is completely on them whether to have these tasty but health deteriorating foods or to refrain themselves. Furthermore, people in the restaurant business are there to make a living hence, they have the right to widespread the publicity of their outlets. To cite an example, an entrepreneur who recently established a hotel will advertise it with the help of multimedia, in order to boost their income.

In my opinion, certain options that are tasty as well beneficial to health should be consumed by people to curb the risk of becoming obese. Moreover, it can also help a person by maintaining their physique naturally. To exemplify, individuals consuming homemade delicious meals are often physically fit than those who eat outside regularly.

In conclusion, albeit advertisements lure people, a mature grown individual is accountable for their actions. I opine, that a person should choose an option which is delicious yet it ensures their complete physical and mental well-being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on junk food advertising and obesity, and a clear personal position is presented throughout. Ideas are generally relevant, such as mentioning the influence of social media on fast-food consumption and personal responsibility. However, the development of ideas in the body paragraphs is somewhat limited and leans on generalizations rather than deep elaboration. For instance, the discussion on personal responsibility and restaurant owners' rights is stated rather than thoroughly explored. Despite these minor limitations, all requirements of the task are met satisfactorily, placing the response at a solid Band 6.5 or Band 7.0 range. We award a Band 6.0 as some ideas are under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'To commence with', 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and transitions are sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'The reason however, according to some people is the promotion...', which impacts the flow. While logical progression is maintained overall, the clumsy phrasing of some transitional sentences pulls the cohesion score down into the Band 6 category.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The writer attempts an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, utilizing less common items like 'jeopardy', 'alluring', 'irresistible', and 'skyrocketted'. However, there are notable word-choice and collocation errors that hinder precise communication, such as 'accountable behind' instead of 'accountable for', 'widespread the publicity' instead of 'spread publicity' or 'market', and referring to a restaurant as a 'hotel'. Spelling is generally acceptable ('skyrocketted' has a double t error), but the recurring lexical inaccuracies restrict the score to a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and participial structures ('Although, the videos surfacing on television and internet are alluring, it completely depends...'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues throughout the text. Examples include comma splices and missing prepositions, as well as subject-verb agreement errors such as 'a person in their complete state of mind have' (should be 'has') and 'individuals consuming homemade delicious meals are often physically fit than' (missing 'more'). These errors occasionally cause slight strain for the reader, aligning with Band 5.5 or Band 6.0 descriptors.

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