Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some parts of the world, commercials promoting unhealthy food are considered to be the biggest responsible factor that leads to obesity and people demand an impose on these advertisements, whereas opponents oppose this notion and do not blame junk food advertising solely for this health problem. This essay will explain both viewpoints in the forthcoming paragraphs before giving my own opinion in conclusion.

Advertising can really contribute to the problem from the following aspects. The most prominent one is appealing representation. To put it simply, the fast food items shown in ads are represented in such a way that people can not control and urge to eat them immediately. Junk food adverts, allure the consumers effortlessly, especially the children. For instance, in 2011, the sales of yipee noodles soared significantly by ten folds, when they were advertised on TV for first time. In addition to this, another worth-mentioning aspect is the influence of celebrities promoting the food. More precisely, businesses pay the famous personalities who have a strong fanbase, to advertise their eatables and as a result of it, the influence of those popular persons encourage the consumers to buy fast food. Thus, there is nothing wrong to blame the advertisements for the growing number of obese people and it is certainly mandatory to slap a ban on such misleading commercials.

Nevetheless, according to the opponents, other factors should also be taken into account when it comes to analyse the root causes of obesity. Other than advertising, lack of physical exercise and sedentary lifestyle also leads to the problem of overweight. In other words, along with the consumption of fast food, the modern lifestyle of individuals make them the victim of this health ailment. People these days, are very less willing to get engaged with any exercises or physical activities; instead, they spend much of their time sitting in front of the screens. As consequence, they get diagnosed with such diseases. Therefore, it would be totally wrong to shift the blame on advertising only.

In conclusion, from aforementioned discussion, I am convinced that advertising can cast little impact and just slaping a ban will not create much difference. people must be aware of their health and should

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on junk food advertising and providing a personal opinion in the introduction and body paragraphs. The position is clear throughout the essay. Ideas are extended and supported, such as mentioning the example of yipee noodles sales soaring in 2011, and explaining the influence of celebrity endorsements. However, the conclusion cuts off abruptly ('people must be aware of their health and should'), which leaves the final thought underdeveloped and slightly affects task completion. Despite this minor flaw in the conclusion, the response covers all required aspects well, aligning closely with the Band 6.5 to 7.0 descriptors. Because the ideas are well-supported overall, a score of 6.5 is appropriate.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introduction to the arguments for and against advertising. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different viewpoints. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as 'To put it simply', 'In addition to this', and 'Nevetheless' (note the spelling typo). However, some referencing is slightly mechanical, and cohesion can be faulty in places, such as the incomplete final sentence which disrupts the flow of the conclusion. Overall, the organizational structure is easy to follow, supporting a solid Band 6 performance.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'sedentary lifestyle', 'celebrity endorsements', and 'root causes'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'demand an impose on' instead of 'impose a ban on', 'sales soared ... by ten folds' instead of 'tenfold', and 'slap a ban' which is slightly informal. Spelling errors like 'Nevetheless' also occur. These errors do not impede overall communication, placing the response comfortably at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures and relative clauses. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing choices, such as 'commercials promoting unhealthy food are considered to be the biggest responsible factor', 'people can not control and urge to eat', and 'lifestyle of individuals make them' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally acceptable, though the essay suffers from an incomplete final sentence. These errors occasionally cause slight difficulty, but the meaning remains clear, justifying a Band 6.0 score.

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