Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

As far as this topic is concerned, I would like to say that the impact of major problems in junk food in some socities which has always been debatable and has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. From my perspective, the former proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will further elaborate my views for favoring the positive or negative impact of this trend and thus will lead to a logical conclusion.

Analyzing the statement further, the primary reason behind this is that this issue is due to increase the medical problem in each persons. Categorically discussing, it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind this is that especially in our country, it far reaching consequences. It spells starvation, disease and death on its victoms because they have no proper education, no culture and therefore no concern for right and wrong, good and bad.

Moving further, it is pertinent to mention that it is the basic duty of government to provide a safe and stable society for the betterment of the public. It is imperative for the authorities concerned to look into the factor behind this issue and take a drastic action against the concerned persons.

To encapsulate, I would like to appeal to learned figures to come forword focus their gaze and launch a vigorous campaign to reform, it across the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding junk food advertising and obesity, but the development of ideas is weak, tangential, and largely disconnected from the specific task. While the student attempts to take a position ('the former proposition appears to be more rational'), the main body paragraphs drift into extreme and irrelevant assertions, such as claiming that the issue 'spells starvation, disease and death on its victoms because they have no proper education, no culture'. The prompt asks for a discussion on whether junk food advertising contributes to obesity and whether it should be banned, but the writer fails to engage with the advertising aspect directly or provide relevant examples. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed, earning a band score of 4.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The response is divided into four paragraphs, which visually mirrors standard essay structure. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by non-sequiturs and formulaic transition phrases that lack meaningful connection to the preceding text (e.g., 'Analyzing the statement further', 'Moving further'). Cohesive devices are used mechanically and often inaccurately, such as 'To encapsulate', which is awkward in this context. Referencing is also unclear throughout the text, making it difficult to follow the writer's line of thought. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion is faulty. This corresponds to a band score of 4.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is largely basic and repetitive, with several noticeable errors in word choice and spelling that impede communication. Examples include 'victoms' (victims), 'come forword' (come forward), and 'socities' (societies). The writer attempts some less common phrases, such as 'substantial influence' and 'drastic action', but these are overshadowed by lexical inaccuracies and inappropriate collocations, such as 'increase the medical problem in each persons'. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for the task, resulting in a band score of 4.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. While there are a few simple sentences that are understandable, attempts at complex sentences frequently result in serious structural faults and a lack of control, such as 'As far as this topic is concerned, I would like to say that the impact of major problems in junk food in some socities which has always been debatable...' Frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, preposition use, and punctuation cause significant difficulty for the reader and obscure the intended meaning. Therefore, this performance fits the band 4.0 descriptor.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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