Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Obesity is somehow related to advertisiments.Adverdisiments plays a major role on peoples daily life stlye.For example when we go out for a movie, they donot allow us to bring any food item or drink with us.Then we enter in cinema and sit on our seat and movies starts first they play a add of advertising junk food, our body feel hungry and and we canot resists ourselves frombuying food and we buy the junk food avaible in the cinema and eat it their.The example i have given is the one i study on internet that on this study article has also been published in whoch they say how our body reacts when we see advertiment related to any typeof junk food,These theater use this technique to sell their food items quickly and easily.The more we watch advertisements related to junk food the more we become addicted to them,our body will not be able to say no them.So, on th other hand if watch more advertisement related to helathy food,how we cam make them ourselves, which foods are good for our life then thwie will be less chances we will become obse rather then that we will come healthy and more energetic.So Advertisement play a major role in obesity as when we are feeling hungry we will eat more junk foods,we will gain weight, become less energetic,lazy and maybe sick if we do not chnage our lifestyle.Advertisement is not that much effect.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response attempts to discuss the impact of junk food advertising, drawing on a personal cinema anecdote to illustrate the point. However, the essay only partially addresses the prompt. While it considers the view that advertising contributes to obesity, it completely fails to discuss the opposing view that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem, missing a crucial part of the 'discuss both views' instruction. Furthermore, the position is not consistently clear. Ideas are somewhat repetitive and lack rigorous academic development, relying on anecdotal observation rather than well-supported argumentation. Additionally, the response falls short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 241 words, which further impacts the task completion score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text suffers from severe issues with paragraphing, as it is presented as one long, dense block of text without any structural division. This significantly hampers the logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, and often misused, such as repetitive starting phrases like 'So, on the other hand' and run-on sentences connected by commas rather than proper conjunctions or full stops. Referencing is occasionally confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of argument from the cinema example to the broader societal discussion on healthy food alternatives.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'advertisiments', 'Adverdisiments', 'stlye', 'donot', 'add', 'avaible', 'whoch', 'advertiment', 'typeof', 'helathy', 'obse', 'rather then', 'come' instead of 'become', and 'chnage'. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for the task, with terms like 'junk food', 'obesity', and 'lifestyle' repeated frequently. There is an absence of less common lexical items used with precision, and the numerous errors in spelling and word formation frequently strain the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak, characterized by a heavy reliance on run-on sentences and comma splices, such as in 'For example when we go out for a movie, they donot allow us to bring any food item or drink with us.Then we enter in cinema...'. There is a lack of control over complex sentence structures, and basic grammatical rules are frequently broken, including missing articles and subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'Advertisement play', 'theater use'). Punctuation is largely neglected, with spaces missing after commas and periods. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader.

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