Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
To begin with , there are several reasons why this topic is important in our daily life . The main reasons is that major problem in societies can have dircet effect on people and society . Many people face this issue in their daily lives , and it can influence their lifestyle in different ways . For example , it may affect people's work , education , Health , or relationships . In addition , young people and families can also influenced by this situation. Another is that important food advertising can have both negative and positive effects . It mainly depend on how people use it and how they deal with the situation . Moreover they are some possible way to improve the situation. In my opinion , food advertising is largely to blam fo this problem should be banned . Another is that food advertising in banned can have positive effects for this societies . People should have proper knowledge and should make responsible decisions . The government , schools , and families can also play an important role by providing guidance and support . For instance , simple rules and then better awareness can help people make better chioces . In conclusion , should be use schools , families , children , and youngster in eat the food is important issue that should not be ignored . If people and society work togather , the negative effects can be reduced and situation can be improved . The situation way to improve the positive side .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by attempting to discuss both views regarding junk food advertising and providing a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is very limited and repetitive. Sentences such as 'The main reasons is that major problem in societies can have dircet effect on people and society' lack specific elaboration and fail to provide the concrete examples or relevant evidence demanded by the task. The writer does state an opinion that 'food advertising is largely to blam fo this problem should be banned', but the arguments supporting this position are vague and lack depth. While all parts of the prompt are touched upon, the lack of well-developed ideas places this performance at Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay lacks clear logical organisation and adequate paragraphing. The response is written as a single, dense block of text with virtually no paragraph breaks, which makes following the progression of ideas extremely difficult. Cohesive devices are used in a very repetitive and mechanical manner, such as the frequent overuse of phrases like 'To begin with', 'Another is that', and 'Moreover'. Referencing is also faulty, as seen in unclear pronoun usage like 'It mainly depend on how people use it'. There is no clear overall progression from introduction to body to conclusion, resulting in a confusing structure that aligns with the Band 4 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used throughout the response is basic, repetitive, and often imprecise. Words like 'problem', 'situation', 'people', and 'food' are repeated constantly without synonyms or variation. There are noticeable lexical errors, such as 'dircet' for direct, 'blam' for blame, and 'chioces' for choices. The student attempts to use some topic-related vocabulary such as 'obesity', 'advertising', and 'government', but the limited range and frequent spelling and word-choice errors strain the reader and prevent clear communication, reflecting a Band 4.5 performance rounded to 4.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at more complex structures are frequently faulty or incomplete, such as 'In conclusion, should be use schools, families, children, and youngster in eat the food is important issue that should not be ignored.' Grammatical errors are very frequent across the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The main reasons is', 'It mainly depend'), missing words, and incorrect prepositions. These errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and distort meaning in several places, characteristic of a Band 4.5 performance.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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