Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many societies, the obesity is a major problem and some individuals argue that fast food presentation is largely to blame for this issue and they say's it should be banned. On the other hand, some citizens beleive junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not close thes kinds of resturants.

Overall, there are lots of resturants in whole country which serve many cusines such as, pizza, burger, and fries. some people think these dishes are harmful for them and they lost their physical health through fast foods. Moreover, they want to banned these shops or resturants who serve the junk food because they lost their fitness. However, people beleive the junk food has not effect on our bodies and this is not cause of obesity. Furthermore, they eat fast food and they enjoy it and they think find the other reason of obesity instead of blame junk food. Afterthat, they don't want to banned the hotels which provide fast food.

From my perspective ,fast food is also vital part of our feed but the junk food is not beneficial for us because of there are sevral chemicals in it and as we know, these ingredients has some drawbacks such as, obesity and lazines. In my opion, we should eat healthy foods such as, vegetables food and chicken. We get protein through the chicken which assist to all body growth. Furthermore, the government should banned the fast food is the best health for people. afterthat, the excersie is also very significant to maintain their perfect body

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address all parts of the task by discussing both views on junk food advertising and providing a personal opinion, which aligns with Band 5 descriptors. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive. For instance, the writer states that fast food is 'not beneficial for us because of there are sevral chemicals in it' and mentions obesity and laziness, but these arguments are not fully extended or supported with specific examples or evidence. Furthermore, the position is sometimes obscured by confusing phrasing, such as 'close thes kinds of resturants' versus banning advertising. While the main topics of obesity and advertising are touched upon, the lack of clear progression and the over-generalised arguments place this performance firmly within the Band 5 category for Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, the essay demonstrates some basic organization with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but it lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal structure of the paragraphs is chaotic, shifting rapidly between opposing views without clear signposting or logical sequencing. Cohesive devices are often inadequate, repetitive, or mechanically forced, evidenced by words like 'Moreover,' 'However,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Afterthat,' which are frequently misused to link unrelated ideas. Referencing is also weak at times, making it difficult for the reader to follow the exact flow of argumentation. These pervasive issues in mechanical cohesion and structural progression correspond closely to the Band 4 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The lexical resource displayed in the essay is limited and basic, reflecting Band 4 descriptors. The writer uses repetitive vocabulary such as 'obesity,' 'fast food,' and 'resturants' throughout the text. There are also numerous spelling errors that recur, including 'beleive,' 'cusines,' 'banned' (used incorrectly for bans), 'sevral,' 'lazines,' 'opion,' and 'excersie.' Word choice and collocation are frequently inaccurate, for example, 'fast food presentation,' 'feed' instead of food, and 'hotels' instead of restaurants or shops. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey a general topic, the frequency of errors and the restricted range prevent the writer from achieving a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range and accuracy of the response are weak, characterized by a very limited range of structures and frequent errors that occasionally distort meaning. The writer attempts some complex sentences, but these are almost always faulty, featuring missing articles, incorrect prepositions, and severe subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'the obesity is a major problem' and 'these ingredients has some drawbacks.' Run-on sentences joined improperly by conjunctions like 'and' are common, for instance, 'Furthermore, they eat fast food and they enjoy it and they think find the other reason...' Punctuation and capitalization are also erratic. Due to the high frequency of basic grammatical errors and the lack of error-free complex structures, this performance meets the criteria for Band 4.

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