Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In most parts of the world, obesity is becoming a major concern. Some individuals argue that processed food advertisment is main reasons for this problem and should be prohibited across the world. However others believe that obesity is not caused by multiple advertisements and should not be restricted in the world. I will discuss both views, however i am with the later notion.

On the one hand, there are many reasons why people believe that tv commercial is main cause of obesity becouse it has been seen that many people likely to purchase the particular product when they watch any ads about the product and these ads are very pursuasive and mainy target vulnerable audiances such as children. Due to this, children demands the same products or items from their parents and this cause obesity in very early age. Moreover, most of the advertisements are endose by famous celebrity who have millions of followers in many differents social media platforms and commen citizens like to follow their account and copy their living and eating style. Therefore, when any celebrity advertise junk food on tv or radio due to this individuals eager to buy the some food from nearby market.

On the other hand, i argue that it is not a main cause for increasing obesity bcause i belive that lack of physical activities among people is one of the singnificant cause. Futhermore, incrasing use of gagets such as mobile phone, tv, and computers is also causing main concern because many people spend so much time on social media or watchin tv programs and do less exercise and play video games instead of playing in the ground with friends. Finally, people have now very hectic schedule as compare to past now the life is very fast pased and individuals do not want to get behind in this rapidy moving society so they focus more on their carear rather than on their health.

In conculusion,after analysing both views in my opinion banning advertising will not solve the problem of obsety government should take other measurement to mitigate the problem.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both views—the role of junk food advertising in causing obesity versus other contributing factors—and clearly states the writer's own opinion in the introduction ("i am with the later notion"). The ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as how celebrities endorse products on social media and how increased gadget usage reduces physical activity. However, there is a tendency to over-generalise in places, and some arguments are slightly repetitive. Overall, the task is successfully fulfilled, aligning well with the requirements of a Band 6.5 or Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay is logically organised into four paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs addressing opposing views, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to signal transitions, such as "On the one hand", "On the other hand", and "In conculusion". However, cohesion can feel somewhat mechanical, and referencing is occasionally faulty, such as in the concluding sentence where the connection between ideas is rushed. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct arguments, giving the response a coherent overall arrangement that fits Band 6 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as "vulnerable audiances", "endose", and "fast pased". However, there are noticeable spelling errors throughout the text, including "advertisment", "becouse", "pursuasive", "audiances", "endose", "differents", "commen", "bcause", "singnificant", "gagets", "watchin", "carear", "conculusion", and "obsety". While these errors do not severely impede communication, their frequency prevents the lexical score from reaching a higher band, placing it firmly at Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, using conditional and subordinate clauses such as "when they watch any ads about the product" and "because many people spend so much time... and do less exercise". However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ("many people likely to purchase", "children demands"), articles, and punctuation, alongside lowercase pronouns ("i"). While the meaning remains clear despite these frequent errors, the lack of error-free complex sentences restricts the score to Band 5.5.

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