Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In our today's society diseases like obesity are major concern and consistently increasing. A sufficient group of people are blaiming junk food industry, while others think otherwise. This essay elaborates the rule of fast food in increasing the obesity problem and why it should be not be baned and how we can control it.

Traditional food is much more healthier becasue of their active ingredients. In comparison, Fast food production takes place in oil especially Oilpalm at higher degree of temperature. This high heat burns the calories inside the food. When people consume this oily products with high fats inside and less energatic food it automatically affect their chloresterol level and cause fats accumulation in the muscles. For instance, graduates at their hostels and institutions eat burgers and chips on the daily basis just to enjoy their gathering. As results, they get affected with obesity.

Moreover, we are not taking fresh diet these days, depend heavily on the stored food also considered as fast food and facing same health hazards. Therefore, government should applys some sort of regulations to control the increasing fast food industry.

The portion of public which argued against is actually saving the bussiness sites. They wanted to maintain the money flow. According to them with fast food resturants they can earn more money. They not even concern with the health of society. For them junk food contains all those callories required to body as of natural or fresh diet.

In my opinion, agencies related to the food department should take notice of this. They must passes the laws to stop these health problems by giving a specific instructions for the firms who produce this fast food. In this way we can control the obesity and will be able to save our generation from this fatal disease.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on junk food advertising and providing a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks depth. For instance, the argument regarding the economic motives of businesses is introduced briefly without robust examples. The writer's position is discernible throughout the essay, concluding with a recommendation for food agencies. While the ideas presented are relevant, they tend to be somewhat general and would benefit from further elaboration and more specific supporting evidence to reach higher band levels. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, satisfying the requirements for a Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into paragraphs. However, logical progression is occasionally disrupted by abrupt transitions and sentences that do not flow smoothly together, such as the sudden shift into the economic argument in the fourth paragraph. Cohesive devices are used, but sometimes mechanically or inappropriately, such as 'The portion of public which argued against'. Paragraphing is attempted, though the division of ideas could be refined. Referencing is generally clear, but some awkward phrasing impacts the overall readability. This corresponds to a Band 6 level of coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, touching upon health-related terms like 'obesity', 'cholesterol', and 'fats accumulation'. However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'blaiming', 'rule' instead of 'role', 'not be baned', 'healthier becasue', 'energatic', and 'resturants'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they highlight a lack of precision and control over less common lexical items. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, but frequent inaccuracies place this performance firmly within the Band 5 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'When people consume this oily products... it automatically affect their chloresterol level'. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('this oily products', 'government should applys', 'They not even concern'), tense inconsistencies, and preposition errors. Punctuation is also occasionally faulty. Although these errors do not completely obscure the writer's meaning, they occur with high frequency and cause some difficulty for the reader. Therefore, this performance aligns with the Band 5 descriptors for grammar.

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