Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's modern world obesity has become the subject of debate. Some people argue that advertisment of junk foods plays a crucial role in this problem and should be banned while others believe that junk food commercials has no contribution to this issue and should not be banned. This essay will examine both views before explaining why I believe that fast food promotion can contribute to obesity, although other factors also plays an important role.

On the one hand, proponents of banning junk food advertising argue that consuming fast food can contribute to major health concerns. This is mainly due to unhealthy food contains excessive amount sodium, sugar, unhealthy fats and often high in calories that can contribute to obesity. In addition, advertisements make unhealthy food more attractive. For instance, children who are exposed to colorful and persuasive advertisements may be more likely to develop preference for junk food and consume it frequently. As a result, they become more obese, which may affect their overall health and it becomes problematic for their future life.

On the other hand, various other factors can contribute to obesity, such as lack of physical activity, unhealthy life style and sedentary lifestyle. The main reason is that people who do not exercise regularly and not maintain healthy diet are more likely to become obese over time. For example, people who work in corporate, spend their most of the time sitting at the constant place. Consequently, they become more obese.

In conclusion, banning adversing can help but other factors can also contribute to obesity, so they should be not concsu

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both views on junk food advertising and providing a personal opinion in the introduction. The position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas are under-developed or tend to over-generalise. For example, the body paragraphs touch upon how unhealthy food contains excessive amounts of sodium and how sedentary lifestyles contribute to obesity, but these arguments could have been extended with deeper analysis or more concrete evidence. The conclusion is incomplete and trails off ('so they should be not concsu'), which impacts task completion at the very end. Nonetheless, the core elements of the prompt are addressed adequately, leading to a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, dividing the introduction, two body viewpoints, and an incomplete conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to signal transitions, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, the phrase 'The main reason is that people who do not exercise regularly and not maintain healthy diet...' displays awkward linkage and grammatical inconsistency. Additionally, the progression breaks down entirely in the final sentence due to the truncated conclusion. Because of these mechanical issues and the broken ending, a Band 5.5 is appropriate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'proponents', 'persuasive', 'sedentary lifestyle', and 'overall health'. However, there are notable spelling and word-choice errors, including 'advertisment', 'commercials has no contribution', and the incomplete concluding word 'concsu'. Attempts at less common vocabulary sometimes lack precision or accurate collocation, as seen in 'spend their most of the time sitting at the constant place'. These errors do not entirely impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score to a Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures such as 'children who are exposed to colorful and persuasive advertisements may be more likely to develop preference'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('junk food commercials has'), missing articles ('unhealthy food contains excessive amount sodium'), and faulty parallel structures ('do not exercise regularly and not maintain healthy diet'). Furthermore, the sentence structure breaks down completely in the final sentence. These frequent errors place the response firmly in the Band 5.5 category.

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