Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some areas, being overweight is a major problem for society. Some people blame junk food advertising for this, holding a view to banne them, while others are against it. This essay will examine both prespectives before explaining why I believe that they shoud not be banned.

On one side, people argue that, authorities should banne junk food advertising as they rise up a craving for eatting them, in people. In other words these adds makes it hard to quit bad eatting habbits, dispite it crave people to eat more. Consequently, people ends up with consuming majorty of these stuff, as a result ratio of obesity increases.

On the other side,a group of people believe that obesity has nothing to do with marketing of junk food, in their prespective, its the matter of personal lifestyle and habbits. This is because obesity is not only caused by junk food, it occures due to combination of bad eating habits and lack of physical work routien. Therefore, its impropriate to blame marketing section of any company for this. In actual its the person it-self. I agree with this prespective, it is unethical to blame someone else for the problem caused by an individual itself.

In conclusion, their are different views in between public for the reasons of increasing ratio of obesity in the society. A part of them blame junk food advertisements and wants to banne them, while rest blame individual's personal habbits, and are against banneing of advertisement. I completelly agree with this thought. Forsure it give cravings to public, but the matter of obesity is deeply related to personal choices.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on junk food advertising and providing a clear personal opinion. The writer establishes a position early on and maintains it throughout the essay, concluding with a reiteration of agreement that lifestyle choices rather than advertising are the primary cause of obesity. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack extension. For instance, the argument in the second paragraph about advertisements creating cravings is mentioned but not fully explored with specific examples or deep elaboration. Similarly, the counter-argument regarding personal lifestyle habits touches on physical work routines, but could be pushed further to reach a higher level of extension. Overall, the main concepts are relevant and adequately cover the prompt requirements, though greater depth in supporting arguments is needed for higher achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion. Each paragraph has a distinct focus: introducing the topic and stance, discussing the view favoring a ban, presenting the counter-view on personal responsibility, and concluding the essay. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. The student relies on basic transitional markers such as "On one side," "On the other side," and "In conclusion," which can feel formulaic. Furthermore, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun use in sentences like "this is because obesity is not only caused by junk food, it occures due to..." where comma splices and loose referencing disrupt smooth information flow. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, but the internal connections between sentences require more varied and natural cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, providing a sufficient range to discuss the topic of obesity and advertising. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as "prespectives," "inappropriate," and "unethical," but these are accompanied by notable spelling errors ("banne," "eatting," "habbits," "dispite," "majorty," "occures," "impropriate," "it-self," "completelly", "Forsure"). There are also noticeable word-choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as "rise up a craving," "marketing section," and "increasing ratio of obesity." While communication is generally maintained despite these flaws, the high frequency of spelling mistakes and awkward lexical choices restricts the score. To improve, the writer needs to expand their control of spelling conventions and ensure accurate word collocations when discussing abstract concepts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting complex structures through conditional or multi-clause sentences such as "This essay will examine both prespectives before explaining why I believe that they shoud not be banned." However, attempts at complex sentences are frequently marred by structural errors, punctuation mistakes, and issues with article usage or subject-verb agreement (e.g., "authorities should banne junk food advertising as they rise up a craving," "their are different views in between public"). There are also run-on sentences and comma splices, such as "I agree with this prespective, it is unethical to blame someone else..." Although these errors occur across the text, they rarely impede overall communication entirely, allowing the reader to follow the core argument. Strengthening control over complex sentence patterns and punctuation will greatly enhance the grammatical profile.

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