Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Obesity is mainly resulted from being exposed frequently from large amounts of junk food. Therefore, it is considered as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is one of the main reason for this problem and should be prohibited. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not influence to the problem of obesity and should not be prohibited. For my preceptive, i largely agree that the advertisements of junk food considerably contribute to obesity problem and should be banned.

Junk food advertising affects most of the people behavior and convinces them by what they want. Most of my colleagues ordered junk foods affected by these advertisements. In addition, our generation is increasingly using internet, So they expose daily to these advertisements and it affects their opinion to what meal they would order. Furthermore, if the advertisement is created by a famous character specially a football player, this would encourage us to order it.

On the other hand, some people argue that these advertisements don't contribute the obesity problem. The obesity problem was existed even before the innovative technology for advertisements and the increasingly use of the internet. Therefore, old people who is suffered from obesity was not from these advertisements. Moreover, obesity may occurred due to some stressful condition not due to eating more junk food. Finally, many fitness people use these advertisements to motive them to work more, so at the end of the week they can order this junk food as a free meal.

For my own experience, my colleagues and i are always affected by theses advertisements. as we daily meet in university, many of us frequently offer to try a particular restaurant in the upcoming weekend where we mostly see these advertisements on the Facebook platform.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the task partially by discussing both views on junk food advertising and providing a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. For instance, arguments such as the historical presence of obesity or stress-causing factors are stated rather than fully extended with solid explanations or examples. The writer attempts to present a clear position from the beginning, but the supporting evidence, particularly in the body paragraphs and the personal experience section, relies heavily on anecdotal observations rather than broader societal analysis. To move to a higher band, the writer needs to expand their ideas more thoroughly and support them with well-developed, generalised arguments rather than relying solely on personal examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation present, with distinct paragraphs attempting to introduce both sides of the argument and a conclusion/personal view. However, the text lacks a clear overall progression across the paragraphs. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'Finally' in a mechanical manner. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, as seen in phrases like 'So they expose daily' where pronoun referencing and clause linking disrupt the flow. Paragraphing is used, but internal paragraph cohesion needs strengthening to ensure smoother transitions between sentences. To achieve a higher band, the writer should employ a wider range of cohesive devices more flexibly and ensure that ideas flow logically from one sentence to the next without abrupt shifts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic ideas about obesity and advertising. There are noticeable lexical errors, such as 'Obesity is mainly resulted from' (incorrect passive structure/verb choice), 'influence to the problem' (awkward preposition), 'preceptive' instead of perspective, 'fitness people' instead of fitness enthusiasts, and 'motive them' instead of motivate them. These errors and awkward word choices cause some difficulty for the reader. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'prohibited' and 'advertisements', inaccuracies in word formation and collocation prevent the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, the writer should focus on precise word choice, accurate word forms, and natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, with frequent reliance on simple structures. Attempts at complex sentences are often faulty, featuring frequent errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. Examples of grammatical errors include subject-verb agreement and tense issues, such as 'old people who is suffered from obesity was not from these advertisements', 'obesity may occurred', and punctuation/capitalisation errors like starting sentences with lower-case letters ('i largely agree', 'So they expose'). Prepositions inside grammatical patterns are also misused, such as 'exposed frequently from'. To progress to a higher band, the writer must incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence forms with greater accuracy and eliminate frequent basic errors in tense, agreement, and punctuation.

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