Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries, obesity is considered as one of the main problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned, while others argue that it does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. In my opinion, obesity can be caused by number of reasons so the government should put some restrictions on consumption of junk food, but banning the advertisement of junk food is not the solution.

On the one hand, people think junk food advertising is largely to blame for obesity and should be banned because of health problems occurring due to obesity. People often get influenced by the advertisement and try to eat junk food which can lead to obesity. As obesity develop several health problems such as heart attacks, diabetes, high blood pressure and so on. Additionally, junk food advertising may influence children to eat them. This is because youths sometime prefer to eat junk food and advertising motivates them to eat this kind of food, which even lead to a situation like daily consumption of junk food.

On the other hand, critics argue that advertising does not contribute to the problem and there are many other reasons for obesity being caused. Obesity can cause from many different reasons such as irregular exercise, health issues, irregular sleeping routines and so on. Thus, advertising of junk food should exist alongside. Furthermore, banning the advertisement of junk food does not mean that obesity can be controlled. People may continue to eat junk food and obesity can occur alongside.

In conclusion, junk food advertising is largely to blame because of health problems and children getting influenced. However, there are many different reasons for causing obesity and banning advertisement does not relates to banning junk food. I believe that the government should put some restrictions on consumption of junk food and advertisement should continue to exist.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views on junk food advertising and providing a clear personal position in the introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas is uneven. While the body paragraphs present relevant points, such as the link between advertising and childhood consumption or alternative causes of obesity like 'irregular sleeping routines', some ideas remain somewhat repetitive and under-developed. For instance, the discussion on why critics argue against the ban simply lists other causes without deeply extending the argument. To reach a higher level, the ideas need to be more fully explored and supported with deeper reasoning or more specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from introduction to body paragraphs and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each main idea grouped into its own section. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, some cohesion feels a bit mechanical or repetitive, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun use in 'obesity can cause from many different reasons'. The transition into the 6.5 band is evident through the clear overall structure, while fully achieving higher bands would require smoother, more natural integration of cohesive links and less repetitive phrasing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating central ideas about health, obesity, and advertising. There are clear attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'consumption', 'influenced', and 'alternative'. However, noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation appear throughout the text, such as 'obesity can cause from' instead of 'obesity can be caused by', and 'banning advertisement does not relates' instead of 'relate'. These errors reflect an adequate yet limited control of lexical items where occasional slips do not impede overall communication, placing the writing firmly at this level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to handle subordinate clauses and varied sentence beginnings. There are some noticeable errors in grammar, such as missing articles ('considered as one of the main problem'), pluralisation issues ('As obesity develop'), and prepositions inside grammatical patterns. Despite these errors in grammar and punctuation, they rarely impede communication, and the meaning remains clear. To progress further, the writer would need to eliminate recurring agreement and article errors while producing a higher frequency of error-free complex sentences.

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