Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

As per my opnion the main reason of obesity is not only the junk food but many reason bhind this some of are as under.

1. life style - the main reason for the obesity is the life style of the person like not active life style

2. lack of daily excerise - the another reason for the obesity is the lack of dial ecercise like gym, yoga and morning walk etc.

3.stress - the another reason for the obesity is stresed in the working of personal life

4. Junk food -the another reason for the obesity is eating of the junk food

5. less protein intake -the another reason for the obesity is lack of healthy food with ore protein.

6. high carb food- the another reason for the obesity is todays time more carbs based food is avaliable and easy to cook that is the reason the pepople eats more it.

as per above we can say that the junk food is not the only reason for obesity it is the one reason along with other reason hence we can not say that if we banne the junk food it will useful it can help but as per my opnion the life style is the manfactor for the obesity.

now i can share my personal experience five years before i was overweighted approx 90 kg after that i decide to change my life style like added excercise in daily routine than added protien reach food it helps me and as of now iam feeling good.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task only partially. While the student attempts to discuss alternative causes of obesity and presents a personal opinion, the format relies heavily on a bulleted list rather than a fully developed essay structure. Furthermore, the prompt specifically requires discussing both views regarding junk food advertising—whether it is largely to blame and should be banned versus whether it does not contribute—and giving an own opinion. The student mentions junk food briefly in the list and concluding paragraph, but does not sufficiently explore the two opposing perspectives on advertising as outlined in the prompt. Ideas are limited and under-developed, particularly when stating factors like 'life style' and 'stress' without providing extended supporting evidence or addressing the core advertising debate.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently into standard essay paragraphs. The response adopts a numbered list format for the body points instead of cohesive paragraphs with clear topic sentences and logical progression. While the writer attempts to introduce the topic and conclude with a personal anecdote, the overall structure lacks appropriate paragraphing and smooth transitions between ideas. Cohesive devices are minimal and mechanical, relying on repetitive phrases like 'the another reason for the obesity is', which creates a disjointed reading experience. There is no clear overall progression of argument connecting the two views of the prompt to a well-structured conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for conveying basic meaning. There is a heavy repetition of simple structures and basic terms, such as repeating 'the obesity' and 'reason' throughout the bulleted list. Noticeable errors in spelling and word choice are present, such as 'opnion', 'bhind', 'excerise', 'dial ecercise', 'stresed', 'ore protein', and 'overweighted', alongside awkward phrasing like 'protein reach food'. These lexical errors and limitations cause some difficulty for the reader and reveal a basic, repetitive vocabulary control that restricts the precision and style of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and the attempts at complex or compound structures are heavily flawed by run-on sentences, such as the opening sentence and the final paragraph which string multiple clauses together without proper punctuation or conjunctions. Frequent errors occur in verb forms, articles, prepositions, and sentence boundaries, including missing subjects and incorrect word forms like 'pepople eats more it' and 'five years before i was overweighted'. These frequent errors frequently strain readability and cause difficulty for the reader in parsing the intended meaning.

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