Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is undoubtable, in some societies, obesity is think that a concered problem and reckon that advertising is the main cause and it should be banned. Other think that tere is no role of advertisement, go against them. I think advertisements has a significant role in obesity because majority of youngers faced this issue as they are not mature and not able to understand of side effects of junk food. I will discuss both views and give mu opinion in the subsequent paragraphs.
There are several causes to blame adverising of junk food for obesity. First and foremost, advertisements impect on childrens as these are colourfull and attractive therefore, they can easliy influnce by them. Children are not able to understand about health and good or bad food.Although advertise of junk food is in good way, younger thinks it is good for them as well as give good power as show in television.As a result, they faced plent of problems, one from them is obesity due to this they faced respiratery and heart problrms.
On the other hand, other people belive that advertise does not contribute to creat this problem. there are other reasons. Parents should taught their childern for healthy and unhealthy food, so that did not find any kind of concerns. Moerover, children should do physical exercise to get fit and healthy. Nowaday, youngers prefer to sit along time in the front of tv and computer.Apart from that, if cook heathly food at home for children they do not like to eat out side, also they can escape from problems.
To encapsulate, every coin has two sides, same this topic every person has there own view. in my perspective, advertisements should limit and if every in one hour child see 20 times a advertise to they may attract toward it. In addition, parents should teach their children about healthy food and abou health.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on junk food advertising and providing a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is uneven. While the viewpoint focusing on the impact of advertising on children is extended with some examples such as the use of bright colours, the counter-arguments regarding parental responsibility and exercise are underdeveloped and presented as a list of assertions rather than fully elaborated points. The position is clear throughout the essay, but the lack of thorough explanation in certain body paragraphs prevents the response from reaching a higher level of task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate the different views and the writer's opinion. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'First and foremost', 'On the other hand', and 'To encapsulate', but referencing is sometimes mechanical or imprecise, as seen in vague pronoun usage like 'one from them' and 'same this topic'. While the logical progression is generally understandable, the flow between sentences occasionally feels disjointed due to these referencing issues.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is adequate to convey basic ideas related to obesity and advertising, but the range is limited and frequently repetitive. There are numerous word choice, collocation, and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'concered' instead of concerned, 'impect' instead of impact, 'colourfull', 'easliy', 'advertise' used as a noun where advertisement is needed, and 'heathly'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally impede communication, though the general meaning of the argument can still be discerned by the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, though attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty. There are recurrent errors in basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement ('advertisements has', 'younger thinks'), missing articles ('in front of tv'), awkward prepositional usage, and incorrect verb forms ('if cook heathly food'). Punctuation is also erratic, with run-on sentences and missing capitalization at the start of sentences. These frequent errors require the reader to decode the meaning at times, placing it firmly within the range of frequent grammatical inaccuracies.
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