Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some part of our modern societies, weight gain has a serious impact on our health. which many believe that this problem is associated with advertisement of junk foods and it should be banned. Othrs all believe that advertisement has nothing to do with with the popularity of junk meals and should not be banned. In this essay, I will be discussing both side and give my opinion.

To begin with, weight gain has a lot of serious health issues especially on the heart. the number of both young people and adults developing Hypertension now a days is cost for alarming. This is not because of the advertisement we see on televisions but by the choices we make to choose between well cooked meal(balanced diets) and eating junk meal example is fast food. In Ghana people prefer eating junk food more than meal they prepare in their various homes ( a research conducted by a final year student of the unversity of Cape coast, 2021). this clearly because, the rate at which people go to work early and come back late leads to purchasing more junk meals and due to unmeasured ingredients has contributed to having Hypertension.

In contrast, other individuals also believe that junk meals and it popularity is due to the fact that television station and other podume are showcase them.

People are attracted to what they see and hear, for instance, a lot of individuals have channel their life in studying celebrities lifestyles and how to become one one day. So when these celebrities are used to do advertisement on products whether good or bad, they see it as good. These products can be about junk foods and people will be drawn to it and make more purchase which then cause much serious health complications such diabetes, arthritis,and fatigue.

I strongly believe that, advertising of junk meals has no implications on the raise of junk products so there should not be any banned on them, what a person takes inside is my choice and not what they see or hear.

In conclusion, in some societies, obesity has become a trend due to intake of junk foods. People believe it because of advertisement and also believe that advertising junk products has no contributing factor.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both views on junk food advertising and providing an opinion, which places it securely at the targeted band. However, the treatment of the ideas is uneven. While the writer attempts to explain why advertising may or may not be responsible for obesity, some parts are underdeveloped or lack clarity. For example, the argument that lifestyle factors like work schedules cause hypertension rather than advertising is introduced with a specific reference to Ghana and a university research study, but the connection is not fully extended or linked back robustly to the core debate. Similarly, the conclusion briefly restates points without adding synthesis. To reach a higher level, all main ideas require equal extension, clearer explanations, and more rigorous support throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates an overall coherent arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate distinct ideas, such as the two opposing views. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or faulty. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in phrases like 'Othrs all believe that advertisement has nothing to do with with the popularity of junk meals', where transitional and referencing links do not flow smoothly. Progression between sentences within paragraphs can be disjointed, and cohesive devices are sometimes awkwardly applied rather than integrated naturally. Improving the logical bridges between sentences and ensuring smoother referencing throughout would elevate the organizational quality.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully communicating the writer's basic message about obesity and advertising. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'Hypertension', 'celebrities lifestyles', and 'implications', but these attempts are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling, such as 'Othrs', 'podume', 'unversity', and 'raise' instead of 'rise'. These lexical slips and inaccuracies do not severely impede communication, but they restrict the range and precision of the writing. Incorporating a wider and more accurate selection of topic-specific vocabulary and paying closer attention to word forms and standard collocations will significantly strengthen the lexical presentation in future essays.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing relies on a limited range of sentence structures, with attempts at more complex sentences often resulting in structural faults and frequent errors. There are noticeable issues with verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and articles throughout the text, such as 'In some part of our modern societies', 'which many believe', and 'has no implications on the raise of junk products so there should not be any banned on them'. Punctuation errors also occur, including sentence fragments like 'which many believe that this problem is associated with advertisement of junk foods and it should be banned.' These frequent grammatical errors cause some difficulty for the reader, though the core meaning usually remains decipherable. Greater control over complex sentence patterns and increased accuracy in basic grammatical structures are needed to progress.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.