Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is argued that the cause of obesity is advertising agencies that make tempting ads for their viewers and make them buy more junk food. On the other hand, some believe that these advertisements don't have any effect on the rising problem of obesity. I completely agree that fast food ads affect viewers in many ways and make them want to eat more.

To begin with, one of the most convincing reasons to abandon these ads is that they can be alluring to everyone, especially children who don't know much about health and will buy whatever they find attractive. The ad agencies especially cast big celebrities and influencers who have the biggest impact these days and whom these children idealise. Due to this, we can see the rate of obesity is increasing day by day, especially in children. So, it is a valid concern for a parent who wants their children to be healthy to ban these tempting ads.

However, some believe that there is no point in banning these ads because they don't really have that much impact on sales. There could be many more reasons for the higher rate of obesity; we should focus on them first rather than banning the ads. It could also be said that agencies only run ads to promote their business; they don't force anyone to buy their product.

In conclusion, although understandably some may take a different view, I firmly believe that these advertising agencies have the biggest impact on the high purchase of fast food through their ads and also contribute to the rise of obesity. The reasons discussed above support both logic and evidence, making this position both reasonable and well substantiated.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on junk food advertising and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is uneven. While the first body paragraph contains some good points about children and celebrity endorsement, the counter-argument paragraph is somewhat underdeveloped and brief, relying on general statements like 'there could be many more reasons' without exploring them deeply. The position is clear throughout the essay, but to reach a higher level, the arguments need more extension, specific examples, and deeper analysis rather than skimming over the counter-perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear progression of ideas from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments. Cohesive devices are employed to connect sentences, such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'In conclusion', which satisfies the requirements of this band. However, some aspects of cohesion are a bit mechanical, and referencing is not always completely clear. To move towards higher bands, transitions could be integrated more fluidly without relying on formulaic phrases, and the logical bridges between sentences could be smoothed out for a more seamless flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully communicating the main points regarding obesity and advertising. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'alluring', 'idealise', and 'substantiated', showing an awareness of style. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'high purchase of fast food' rather than 'high consumption'. Spelling and word-choice errors are occasional and do not impede communication, placing the response securely at this level. Incorporating a wider range of precise lexical chunks and collocations related to health and marketing would elevate the vocabulary score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as relative clauses and conditional-like ideas effectively. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as 'the cause of obesity is advertising agencies' (which should be phrased around advertising policies or agencies being responsible) and minor prepositions or article slips. Nevertheless, these errors do not impede communication and the meaning remains clear throughout. The presence of both error-free sentences and occasional structural slips aligns well with this band. Greater control over complex sentence patterns and completely error-free execution would push the grammar into higher territory.

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