Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In morden societies, people arevery conscious for their health, obesity is consider as a major problem. Few individuals are aganist the policy adversiting for fast food and should be stopped to prevent obesity. While others support that weight gain is not the reason for junk food and should not be banned in the society. In this essay will discuss about the some reasons for cause of obesity and whether supporting the advertisment is a good or not.

On one hand, individuals think that outside food advertising on the social media platforms, have casued to fullfill thier taste buds without have second thought of their health issues. Some peoples have to follow diet restriction, while some do exrecise and in such situtaions they wonder to have different tastey food. So, they recommend to have the easy meal, this leads to increase in demand of junk food. For instance, on televison companies like Mc Donald, KFC, Wendy's give advertiment of food in an attractive way, this make young childerns to try different taste. Parents are concerned for the health of their childerns, to prevent sickness. In such condition, parents try to skip junk food advertising, and they want the food companies to stop.

On the other hand, obesity is not devloped only by intake of junk food, advertisment is a part of promotion of the products. Every individuals have to control their needs and should understand their health conditions. For example, people should have limitation in their diet, they should do exercise

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You introduce both positions and give relevant points: advertising may encourage children to try fast food, while obesity also depends on individuals’ choices and habits. The examples of television adverts and parental concern help connect the first view to the issue. However, the discussion is only partially developed. The second view is stated mainly as personal responsibility, with little explanation of why advertising should remain permitted or how other factors contribute to obesity. Your own opinion is also not clearly established; the introduction promises to discuss the issue but does not say which view you support, and the response ends before reaching a conclusion. Develop both sides with fuller reasoning and state your position clearly throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph beginning “On one hand,” and another beginning “On the other hand.” These markers help readers identify the two viewpoints, and the examples generally follow the point they illustrate. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven. In the first body paragraph, the links between dieting, exercise, wanting different tastes, and increased demand are not fully explained. The second paragraph stops after introducing personal control and exercise, so the argument has no clear resolution. Some linking phrases, such as “In such condition,” are used mechanically or do not make the relationship between ideas precise. Build each paragraph around one developed claim and add a concluding paragraph that connects the discussion to your opinion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “advertising,” “diet restriction,” “health issues,” and “promotion of the products.” This gives the response enough subject-specific language to communicate its main ideas. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to read, for example “morden,” “aganist,” “advertiment,” and “tastey.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “fullfill their taste buds” and “wonder to have different tastey food.” Aim to learn accurate collocations for discussing causes and effects, and check spelling carefully. More precise phrases such as “encourage consumption” and “contribute to weight gain” would help express the argument clearly and avoid repeated general wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some complex sentences, including “While others support that weight gain is not the reason for junk food and should not be banned,” and use examples to extend your points. However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “In this essay will discuss” lacks a subject, while “obesity is consider” and “this make young childerns” show problems with verb forms and agreement. The opening sentence also joins separate clauses with a comma, and the final sentence is incomplete. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “although,” and “which.” Check subjects, verb forms, articles, and sentence endings during revision.

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