Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Excessive weight gain has become a major public health concern in meny parts of the world. While people argue that fast food commercial drive this issue and should be prohibited, other maintain that advertising plays little role in health outcomes and ought to remain legal. In my opinion, although commercials influence dietray preferences, individual lifestyle choices and poor eating habits are the primary causes of weight gain.

On the one hand, some people believe that junk food advertisements encourage bad eating habits, especially among children. Commercials often use bright colors, catchy slogans, fun music, and popular cartoon characters to make unhealthy food look very exciting, appealing, and desirable. As a result, young people frequently ask teir parents for burger, chips, and sugary drinks instead of healthy food, which leads to the poor diatery habits from an early age. Therefore, banning these ads could help stop children from eating too much unhealthy foods and lower the risk of obesity.

On the other hand, other argued that advertising are not the main reason why people become overweight. Many people choose fast-food because it is cheap, quick, and easy to buy when they are busy with work. It saves their time and effort. In addition, many citizens do not do enough exercise and spend a lot of time sitting in front of TV screen or computers. In my opinion, personal choices and a lack of physical activities are far more responsible for obesity than food commercials.

In conclusion, although fast-food commercials cna encourage bad eating habits in childrens, I believe advertising is not the main cause of severe weight gain. Overall, personal lifestyle choices, cheap food prices, and a lack of exercise play a much bigger role in obesity than food advertisements.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address both views and state a clear position: advertising can influence preferences, but lifestyle choices are the greater cause of obesity. The two body paragraphs explain the opposing arguments with relevant examples, including children requesting advertised foods and adults choosing fast food for convenience. This gives the response a clear, supported line of argument. Some points, however, remain general: the claim that banning advertisements could reduce obesity is not developed with evidence or explanation of how far the effect might extend, and the discussion of exercise is brief. To strengthen the response further, explain these consequences more fully and qualify broad claims rather than presenting them as certain.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: the introduction presents the debate and your view, the body paragraphs discuss each side, and the conclusion restates your position. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the structure easy to follow. Ideas within the paragraphs generally develop in a logical order, moving from advertising techniques to children’s requests and then to possible effects. Cohesion is somewhat reliant on these familiar transitions, and a few links between claims could be more explicit. For example, clarify how convenience and limited exercise combine to outweigh advertising’s influence, rather than leaving the relationship between these causes implicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “public health concern,” “commercials,” “unhealthy food,” “physical activities,” and “obesity.” Some choices show an attempt to be precise, such as “primary causes” and “appealing.” However, spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy: “meny,” “dietray,” “teir,” and “diatery” appear, while “fast food commercial” and “poor dietary habits” are not consistently expressed naturally. There is also some repetition of “advertising,” “food,” and “obesity.” These issues do not prevent understanding, but careful proofreading and more accurate collocations would make the vocabulary more controlled and flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening (“While people argue…”) and a conditional result (“As a result…”). Most ideas remain understandable, and the paragraph structure supports the argument. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with subject–verb agreement, articles, and plurals. For example, “other maintain” should be “others maintain,” “advertising are” should be “advertising is,” and “in front of TV screen” needs an article. The sentence “which leads to the poor… habits” also has an awkward grammatical construction. To improve, check agreement and article use systematically, and vary sentence patterns while keeping each clause accurate.

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