Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, people are becoming obese and they put blame on junk food advertising for this problem. However, others people believe that fast food advertising does not a cause of obesity and should not be banned. They believe that individuals do not exercise regularly is the main cause of this problem. In this essay, I will discuss both views before reaching a conclusion.

On the one hand, in some societies, obesity is regarded as a major concern. Some people believe that fast food advertising is a reason for this problem and should be banned because when they see adds of these foods while using mobile phones, they may crave for it. For instance, today everyone have smart phones and they have access to different apps such as instagram or tiktok. Advertising companies show their food adds on these apps when mostly people are using it. As a result, when individuals watch adds of spicy foods, they may crave for it. That's why, many people believe advertising should be banned.

On the other hand, others people feel that advertising does contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. They think that people are becoming obese because they do not exercise regulary. For example, people doing jobs in the depatment have busy rountine and they have to sit on computer whole day. So, they don't have enough time to exercise and this is the main reason of obesity. Exercise play a crucial role in physical fitness and health of person.

In a nutshell, although some people believe that advertising companies should restrict adds of junk food as it contribute to obesity, others think that it should not be baned and people should exercise regularly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both views and introduce the topic, then give a conclusion, so the response is relevant to the task. However, the discussion is only partly developed, which limits how fully the task is answered. The advertising argument explains that seeing food promotions on Instagram or TikTok may create cravings, but it does not show clearly how this leads to obesity or why a ban would be effective. The opposing view focuses mainly on lack of exercise and gives a workplace example, but does not explain why advertising itself does not contribute to obesity. Your own position is also not clearly stated: the conclusion repeats both views without indicating which you support. State your opinion directly and develop each side with clearer reasoning and evidence. (20 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a concluding paragraph. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In a nutshell” helps readers follow the structure. This coherent organisation supports the discussion, although connections within paragraphs are sometimes repetitive or mechanical. For example, the advertising paragraph repeats the idea that people see adverts and crave the food, while “As a result” does not fully explain the link between craving and obesity. The conclusion also restates the two positions rather than bringing the argument to a clear resolution. Improve progression by making each sentence add a distinct step to the reasoning and use clearer references when explaining cause and effect.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “obesity,” “advertising,” “crave,” and “exercise regularly.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make the writing less precise. Examples include “adds” for advertisements, “crave for it,” and “people doing jobs in the depatment,” which is unclear. “Fast food” and “junk food” are also repeated rather than varied with accurate alternatives. Aim to use more precise expressions and check spelling and word forms. For instance, “food advertisements may encourage cravings” is more natural than “they may crave for it,” while “sedentary office jobs” would express the workplace example more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a subordinate clause in “because when they see adds of these foods…” and a contrast introduced by “although.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences awkward or difficult to interpret. Examples include “others people believe,” “does not a cause,” “everyone have smart phones,” and “Exercise play.” There are also problems with articles and sentence construction, as in “on computer whole day” and “health of person.” Work on subject–verb agreement, plural forms, and complete, well-formed clauses. For example, write “other people believe,” “does not cause,” and “everyone has a smartphone.” Proofreading each sentence for its subject and verb would improve accuracy.

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