Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Obesity is becoming a serious problem in the society. Many individuals believes it is because of the TV advertisment, which is responsible for this issue and it should be banned permanently. While some people argue that advertisement have not effect and is not responible for this concern. And it should not be banned.

One one hand, many individuals believe that advertisment of junk food is getting popular and common among the society, which result in obesity. More andd more ads make people to get attracted to a certain food. Not knowing the effects on their health. Moreover, a significant number of people get stressed becaue of obesity, which leads to mental health problems and different major problems. It is effecting the society badly, which is not considerable. Furthermore, junk food contains high amount of sugar, salt and fat. Frequent comsumption of these can contribute to weight gain and other health probelms. Therefore, reducing the advertisements for unhealthy food could help the people make healthier choices.

On the hand, some people aargue that advertising is not the main cause of obesity, but the peoplee responsibily of their own eating habbit can be an issue. People can make a diet plan and balance the diet which is suitable for their health. Intstead of blaming advertisement, they do not have to get influenced from the advertisement. For an instance, not exercising daily can also cause obesity. Therefore, banning advertisement alone may not completely solve the problem.

In my opinion, addvertisement is not the only cause but, it can influence the people choise of food. So, the goverment should pass out some restriction, instead of banning it completely.

Tp put in a nut shell, junk food advertisement can contribute to obesity, although it is not the only factor responsible for this problem. A combination of restrictions and public health education would be the most effective approach.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear personal position: advertising can influence food choices, but it is not the only cause, so restrictions are preferable to a complete ban. Relevant support includes the sugar, salt and fat content of junk food and the role of exercise. However, the two sides are not developed equally. The argument against banning advertising is clearer, while the first side shifts from advertising to the effects of obesity on mental health without explaining the link between those points. The example about not exercising is relevant but general. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely how advertising affects purchasing or eating habits, and support each view with a specific example or fuller reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, your opinion, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In my opinion” makes the progression easy to follow. This already gives the essay a clear structure, though some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Not knowing the effects on their health” is a fragment whose relationship to the preceding sentence is not fully expressed, and the discussion of obesity-related mental health interrupts the point about advertising. The conclusion repeats the central position effectively. To improve cohesion further, connect each supporting sentence explicitly to its paragraph’s main claim and use referencing that makes the links between ideas clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “junk food,” “obesity,” “weight gain,” “healthier choices,” and “public health education.” There are also some useful attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “a combination of restrictions.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors are noticeable, sometimes making the reader pause. Examples include “advertisment,” “responsibily,” “eating habbit,” and “pass out some restriction.” Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “the people choise of food.” Build a bank of accurate topic collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. Prefer precise phrases such as “introduce restrictions” and “influence people’s food choices.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “which,” “while,” and “although.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but control is inconsistent: several sentences contain agreement, article, or sentence-boundary problems. For instance, “Many individuals believes” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “While some people argue … And it should not be banned” leaves a dependent clause and an incomplete follow-up. “Not knowing the effects on their health” is also a fragment, and “the people … can be an issue” does not form a clear grammatical relationship. Practise checking each sentence for a complete main clause, correct subject–verb agreement, and clear punctuation. More accurate complex sentences would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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