Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the days, particular members of society are suffering from a major health concerning problem which is obesity. Some people believe that industries which are advertising for junk foods are highly responsible for such issue and should be blamed and banned. While other individuals feel like such problem has nothing to do with them, and they should be free to advertise whatever they want. From my perspective, junk foods advertisements can be considered one of the main reason for obesity, however i think there are also other reasons that contribute this life threatening disorder.

It is clear that obesity is regarded as a serious challenge in recent years. This problem may leads to further detoriation and other undesired consequences like death if not treated and neglected by sufferers.

Many people believe that advertising for unhealthy foods are often contributed this issue, for example, you can see many ads on social media related to fast food which often show how appealing and delicious a piece of chicken wing could be, this engouraged many people to try such foods,specially children who are quite sensetive and easy to convince. Hence, such motivations often gathered many people in fast food restaurants, who want to try such recepies regardless of how unhealthy and unhygenic thay can be.

On the other hand, some individuals think that advertisement for junk foods has nothing to do with obesity, and they believe there are other reasons related to such problem. They think advertisiment is the decent way for industries to show what product they have. Stopping them from what they do may lead to financial burden and other challeneges that workers from such industries may face. Lack of self controling could be one of the reason of such disease, for example, many physically fit people eat junk foods without being overwieghted and they regard this to having sufficient amount of self controlling ability.

In conclusion, it is understandable that junk food advertisement may play their role in contributng obesity among members of society, nevertheless they are not the only one to be blamed . I believe it is very crucial to have self decipline and awareness of things that may endanger their physical wellbeing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and give a clear position: advertising can contribute to obesity, but it is not the only cause. The examples about appealing social-media adverts and children support the argument that advertising can influence food choices, while the self-control example represents the opposing view. This meets the task well, and the position is evident in both the introduction and conclusion. To make the response more fully developed, explain the opposing argument more carefully: the claim that advertising is simply a way for companies to show their products, and that a ban could create financial burdens, needs a clearer link to why advertising should remain permitted. You could also distinguish advertising’s influence from other causes, such as diet and activity, with more specific support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advertising’s influence, a paragraph presenting the opposing view, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the discussion. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The second paragraph discusses the seriousness and consequences of obesity but does not clearly advance either side of the debate, interrupting the progression. In the final body paragraph, the move from companies’ right to advertise to self-control would benefit from an explicit link explaining how these points support the same view. Use clearer referencing and transitions, and make each paragraph develop one central argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “contribute,” “financial burden,” “self-control,” and “physical wellbeing,” and the main ideas remain understandable. However, noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision, for example “detoriation,” “engouraged,” “sensetive,” “self controlling,” and “overwieghted.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “health concerning problem” and “gathered many people in fast food restaurants.” These choices sometimes make the reader pause, which limits the effectiveness of the vocabulary. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships for this topic and checking spelling and word forms. Prefer precise expressions such as “health concern,” “encourages people to try,” and “overweight.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast structure beginning “While other individuals feel…” and a conditional phrase, “if not treated and neglected by sufferers.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but some grammatical errors occur in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “This problem may leads” should use the base verb after “may,” and “advertising … are often contributed this issue” has problems with agreement and verb pattern. The opening sentence is also awkwardly constructed, and the comma splice before “however” in the introduction needs correction. Review modal verbs, subject–verb agreement, and punctuation around linking adverbs; then proofread complex sentences to ensure their clauses are complete and correctly joined.

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