Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The issue of whether obestity is regarded as a major problem in life now a days.The issue has sparked considerable debate. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and it shouold be banned while other people argue that advertising does not contribute to the problem of getting fatt and this should not be banned.I strongly believe that advertising may contribute to the problem of obesity and it should not be banned but it should be streaming less on social media.

One of the main reason why i strong believe that becuase i think you are scrolling down through social media and suddenly you get an ads that show different kind of junk foods.These ads try to convince you to order sometihng. For instance if you are working or using mobile phone at night and you get an ads related to fast food, dopamine hit top of that you start ordering fast food.When you eat too much fast food with no proper timing than the obesity increase.

Another, reason is that advertising companies now a days try to convince people to but junk foods.They hire different marketing manager to promote junk food. Companies advertising junk food uniquely, sometime they sign contract with different influencers, pay them and get their audience.This is one of the major advertising compain now a days.There are many food vloggers available in the market that promote junk foods.

In conclusion, there are arguments on both sides but i think advertising is one of the main issue now a days rising in our country that become main cause of obesity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear opinion that advertising can contribute to obesity but should not be banned, and you offer relevant examples involving social-media adverts, influencers and food vloggers. However, the discussion of the opposing view is largely missing: you mention that some people disagree, but do not explain why they think advertising does not cause obesity or should remain unrestricted. Your own position also shifts slightly, since you first say advertising should not be banned but then suggest it should be shown less on social media, without clarifying how this would work. The conclusion repeats your view rather than developing it. The response is 246 words, so it falls four words short of the required minimum; this also limits the space available to address both sides fully. Develop each viewpoint and support your position more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The examples about adverts appearing while someone scrolls and influencers promoting food are placed in relevant paragraphs, so the reader can follow the general topic. However, progression is limited because both body paragraphs mainly develop reasons advertising encourages consumption, rather than organising a balanced discussion of both views. Linking is also sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, “Another, reason” does not connect smoothly, and “When you eat too much fast food with no proper timing than the obesity increase” leaves the relationship between the example and the claim difficult to follow. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example explicitly to its main point, and give the opposing view its own organised paragraph.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “junk food advertising,” “influencers,” “promote,” and “obesity,” and these choices make the subject clear. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “dopamine hit” and “marketing manager.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled choices make the writing less precise, including “obestity,” “fatt,” “sometihng,” and “compain.” Some phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “streaming less on social media” and “advertising uniquely”; these do not clearly express the intended policy or marketing approach. Aim for accurate collocations and more precise terms, for example, “reduce the frequency of adverts” and “targeted marketing campaigns.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would also make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “if you are working or using mobile phone at night,” and you use clauses to explain cause and effect. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and verb forms occur frequently. The opening is a sentence fragment: “The issue of whether obesity is regarded as a major problem in life now a days.” In “One of the main reason why i strong believe that because…,” the structure is incomplete and the subject–verb pattern is faulty. Other examples include “the obesity increase” and “advertising is one of the main issue,” where agreement is incorrect. Punctuation and capitalisation also need attention. Build complete sentences first, then practise accurate complex clauses and check agreement and articles.

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