Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is an ongoing debate about whether unhealthy food advertising should be banned to help control obesity level in some countries. Some people argue that individuals should be free to choose what they want to consume and there is no need to stop advertising. While others believe that the publicity around junk food is one of the main responsible for its over consumption, and it should be banned. In my opinion, unhealth food should not be encouraged, therefore it should not be advertised anywhere.

Part of the society believe that people should be free to choose what they desire and advertising junk food does not contribute to obesity problems. The marketing only show people the options they have and people can use their freedom to buy what is good for them. For instance, many people tend to buy junk food because it is convenient rather than because they saw a publicity on TV. For those people, there are better ways to combate obesity. To achieve this, the government should present solutions to make health food more affordable and practical.

On the other hand, I believe that advertising has a great share of the obesity problem. That is because marketing can encourage people to buy what they do not need. In Brazil, for example, cigarrete adverstisement was banned, and by law the producers need to advertise people regarding the issues caused to those who smoke. This measure was responsible for a significant decrease of people smoking cigarretes. For this reason, I believe that stopping junk food advertising can help to reduce obesity.

To conclude, some people think that there are better way to combate obesity, such as making health food more afforable, and people should be free to choose what they prefer to consume. However, I believe the marketing around unhealth food is one of the responsible for obesity and it should be banned.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You discuss both positions and state your own view clearly: you explain the freedom-of-choice argument, then argue that advertising encourages unnecessary consumption and should be banned. The examples of convenient food choices and Brazil’s cigarette-advertising restrictions make the discussion relevant. However, the two sides are not developed equally. The first side is mainly asserted, and the point that convenience matters more than advertising could be explained further. The cigarette example supports your reasoning, but you could clarify why the effect of tobacco advertising is a useful comparison for junk food. Develop these links and add more specific explanation of how advertising affects eating choices to make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion that restates your position. The progression from the opposing view to your own is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the other hand” and “To conclude” help guide the reader. This already gives the essay a coherent shape. To make the organisation more fluent, reduce reliance on formulaic transitions and strengthen links between claims and examples. For instance, the cigarette example would connect more smoothly if you first explained the shared influence of advertising and then showed how the Brazilian measure illustrates it. Some references, such as “this measure,” could also be made more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “advertising,” “convenient,” “affordable,” and “freedom to choose.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and phrases such as “a significant decrease” show an attempt to use more precise language. However, several noticeable word-choice, word-form, and spelling errors reduce accuracy: “unhealth food,” “publicity,” “combate,” “cigarrete,” and “afforable.” Some collocations are also awkward, including “one of the main responsible” and “obesity level.” Proofread spelling and learn common combinations such as “responsible for” and “obesity rates.” More precise alternatives for repeated general terms like “people” and “problem” would also improve flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses with “because” and “rather than,” and the meaning is generally clear. The sentence beginning “That is because marketing can encourage…” is a straightforward example of a clear cause-and-effect structure. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. For example, “Part of the society believe” needs a singular verb, and “the main responsible” lacks a grammatical noun construction. The opening paragraph also has a fragment beginning “While others believe,” which should be joined to the preceding sentence. Review subject–verb agreement and practise combining contrasting clauses accurately; this will make your varied structures more controlled.

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