Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Indeed,obesity has become an epidemic in this world with increasing number of people falling prey to it.A school of thoughts is that fast food advertisements are to highly responsible for this and ought to be outlawed whereas others condemn and oppose banning fast food advertising.Both the perspectives are enunciated further and I consider that there could be better alternatives to the problem.

The proponents of banning fast food adverts state that ads are largely influential and attractive displays and promotion of junk food in them push the impressionable minds towards consuming fast food.The most targeted society members are the children by fast companies who present their tempting fast food in such a way that it is hard for young minds to escape from the influence.Moreover,junk food promotion increases the intake of this food which is highly precarious for health due to high fat and oil content which directly result in accumulation of fat in body.Ban on adverts can reduce the exposure to such food items constantly.

However,the opponents of this ban have their own justifications.They blame the easy availability of fast food in every nook and cranny for obesity.As per them,individuals consume fast food mainly owing to easy access to it in their vicinity.The aroma of food being cooked with oil and aromatic ingredients make the people eat it on daily basis.The other reason is 24/7 society which never stops even at night and staying up late make the youngsters used to of fast food intake.They bring it into their daily consumption and gradually become obese.To illustrate,Youngsters living in hostels or away from home do not like to cook and instead eat readymade food.More importantly,physical activities have taken a back seat in lives of people due to many inevitable reasons.This does not allow the calories to burn.Infact,sometimes obesity is genetic.

To conclude,blaming advertisements of fast food for obesity is not justified since people are becoming obese owing to many personal,medical and environmental factors.Hence,there should be consideration of all these in order to reverse the situation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both views and gives a clear overall position: you reject an advertising ban and argue that obesity has several causes. The discussion of advertising identifies children as a vulnerable audience and explains how promotion may increase exposure; the opposing view is supported with points about availability, late-night lifestyles, limited cooking, inactivity, and genetics. This range of relevant ideas meets the task well. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained—for example, the link between staying up late and becoming accustomed to fast food is not clearly demonstrated, and the conclusion does not develop the “better alternatives” mentioned in the introduction. To strengthen the response, explain the relative importance of these causes and give a more specific example of an alternative response, such as nutrition education or limits on marketing to children.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: an introduction presents the debate, separate body paragraphs explain each view, and a conclusion restates your position. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “However,” “To illustrate,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the argument, and the paragraphing is appropriate. The sequence within the second body paragraph is also generally logical, moving from availability to lifestyle and then inactivity and genetics. Some connections between ideas could be made more explicit, however: the move from late-night routines to hostel residents, for instance, feels like a list of related causes rather than a developed chain of reasoning. The conclusion also introduces “personal, medical and environmental factors” without clearly tying each category back to the discussion. Use more precise referencing and explain how each example supports the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary and attempt less common expressions, including “impressionable minds,” “precarious,” “inevitable reasons,” and “accumulation of fat.” These choices help convey the topic, and the meaning is generally clear. Some wording is inaccurate or unnatural, though: “a school of thoughts,” “highly responsible,” “aromatic ingredients,” and “used to of fast food intake” do not express the intended ideas idiomatically. There is also repetition of “fast food” and “obesity,” which limits flexibility. Aim for precise collocations and vary references where appropriate—for example, “processed food” or “energy-dense products” when the meaning fits. More natural phrasing and consistent control of word forms would make the vocabulary more effective and persuasive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response includes a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as the relative clause in “which is highly precarious for health” and the subordinate clause beginning “since people are becoming obese.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include missing articles and agreement in “with increasing number of people,” “the aroma … make the people,” and “staying up late make the youngsters”; the latter also needs a different verb pattern. Several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation, particularly in the first body paragraph, and commas are often missing after introductory phrases. These issues do not usually prevent understanding, but they reduce accuracy and control. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, verb patterns, and sentence boundaries, then proofread for punctuation while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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