Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

IN some society there is a big problem we can face it is a junk food.More of the people think that advertising of junk food is main problem of the disease.Some people dislike the junk food they thing that junk food is not good for the Health.There is one of the main Disease is stomach problem.People can not eat more spicy things because of this problem and people are became too much fatty and they bacame more lazy.EXAMPLE,They use old cooking oil and can not change into new it is a big disease beacuse the oil colour beacame into black and it is not good for use. The small children can not eat breakfast properly the want pizza,burger,pasta etc in morning and mother knows the reality they did not gave these junk food in morning because it is not good for health.some people can not live without junk food thats why they should want to banned the advertisment of junk food.

On the other side it is totally diiferent some people more love the junk food they do not want to ban the advertisement of the junk food.In my opinion if the food make in new cooking and waste the old cooking oil and it is not dangerous for the health.EXAMPLE,We can visit northen areas there are more then hotels and they can serve a neat and clean food and it is made by al natural things.Some peoples mind set are that the junk food is ok for health,that`s why they ask that the junk food advertisment does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You refer to both views and state a personal opinion, particularly when you say that advertising should be banned and later argue that food can be acceptable if it is prepared safely. However, the discussion only minimally addresses the actual question. Much of the first paragraph shifts to stomach problems, spicy food, cooking oil and children’s breakfast choices, without clearly explaining how advertising causes obesity. The opposing view is also presented mainly as people loving junk food, rather than explaining why they believe advertising does not contribute to obesity. Your example about hotels in northern areas concerns food hygiene, not advertising or obesity. Develop each side with relevant reasoning and examples, and make your position consistent and explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into two parts, signalled by “On the other side,” and the reader can identify a shift to the opposing view. However, ideas within the opening paragraph are not arranged in a clear progression: advertising, illness, cooking oil, children’s meals and banning adverts appear in sequence without showing how they connect. The second paragraph also moves from people liking junk food to food preparation and then to the claim about obesity, so the argument is difficult to follow. Linking phrases such as “For example” do not always introduce evidence relevant to the point. Use separate paragraphs for each view and your opinion, and connect each example directly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and often repetitive, with frequent reliance on “junk food,” “problem,” “people” and “good for health.” Some topic-related terms, including “advertisement,” “obesity” and “cooking oil,” show an attempt to address the subject, but word choice and spelling errors sometimes strain understanding. Examples include “fatty” where “overweight” would be more appropriate, and “neat and clean food,” which is not a natural way to describe food quality. Several phrases are unclear, such as “they thing that junk food is not good for the Health.” Build a more precise range for discussing causes and effects, such as “promote unhealthy choices” and “increase calorie intake,” and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements and shows little control of more varied sentence structures. Frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries sometimes make the meaning unclear. For example, “people are became too much fatty” has an incorrect verb construction, while “the want pizza” and “mother knows the reality they did not gave” contain errors that obscure the intended meaning. Long strings of ideas joined with “and” also make relationships between clauses difficult to follow. Practise forming accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas using clauses such as “because” and “although.” Pay particular attention to subject–verb agreement, past-tense forms and punctuation between complete sentences.

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