Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In some places, obesity is considered as a major issue.

Some people argue that promoting junk food is the main cause of this problem, whereas others belive that processed food advertising is not the reason for obesity and it should be legalized. I belive that banning product is not an solution, people should do regular excerices to overcome this issue.

On the one hand, proponents belive that advertisements of unhealthy food is the main reason and it should be banned. This is because food product companies are using new ways to promote thier products, which is attracting people to consume their products. So, many people tend to eat unhealth food. For example, pizza companies are using an famous celebrity to promote their goods, because of this people get tempted to product without knowing its consequences. Hence, adverstiments should be to stop to reduce overconsumption.

On the other hand, people belive that adversting should not be banned because

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You introduce the issue and state a position: “banning product is not an solution,” while suggesting exercise as a response. You also begin to explain the view that advertising encourages unhealthy eating, with the example of pizza companies using celebrities. However, the response stops just as you introduce the opposing view, so it does not discuss why some people believe advertising should not be banned or develop your own position in relation to both sides. The supporting ideas are brief and the example is not fully explained. The response is 93 words below the required minimum, which contributes to the task being addressed only minimally. To improve, complete both sides of the discussion and explain your opinion with relevant reasons and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction is followed by a paragraph beginning “On the one hand,” and a second side is signalled with “On the other hand.” This gives the reader some indication of the intended structure. However, the second paragraph ends after “because,” leaving the argument incomplete and preventing a clear overall progression. Within the first body paragraph, several ideas are linked through “This is because,” “So,” and “Hence,” but the connections are repetitive and the reasoning moves quickly from advertising to overconsumption. Develop each paragraph around a complete main point, use clear links between claim, explanation, and example, and finish with a conclusion that restates your view.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “junk food,” “advertisements,” “unhealthy food,” and “overconsumption,” so the subject is generally clear. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors are noticeable, such as “belive,” “thier,” “excerices,” and “adverstiments.” Some expressions are also imprecise or awkward, including “promoting junk food is the main cause” and “banned” contrasted with “legalized.” Aim for more accurate topic-specific phrasing and check spelling carefully. For example, you could distinguish between advertising’s influence on food choices and other contributors to obesity, such as diet and physical activity. Greater variety and more precise collocations would make the argument easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause with “whereas” and a reason clause beginning “because.” Meaning is usually recoverable, but errors occur frequently. Examples include “obesity is considered as a major issue,” “advertisements … is,” “an solution,” and “should be to stop”; these involve article use, subject–verb agreement, and sentence construction. The final sentence is also incomplete: “people believe that advertising should not be banned because” needs a completed reason. Practise checking agreement and articles, and make sure each sentence has a complete grammatical structure. Using a few accurate complex sentences is more effective than attempting longer constructions that remain unfinished or faulty.

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