Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The number of obese people is increasing day by day and hence obesity is a major concern at the moment. Some individuals believe that this is due to an increased consumption of junk food items. As junk food advertising play an imoortant role in attracting customers and hence it should be banned. However, it is not true for many consumers in my opinion. As some people have self-control that makes them self relictant to fancy advertisments and fast food consumption.

The level of obesity has been increased in recent years. This is probably due to various fast food products utilization, higher workload and fast lifestyle, decreased in the number of physical activities and so on. Above them all, maketing and advertising of junk food have a substantial impact on people. As marketing agencies promote these food items in such a way that every product looks delicious and temptating to eat. For instance, in India, instagram provides infrormation on numerous variety of junk food items and act as a way of advertising by using grandiloquent language in promoting the food brand or restaurant selling such products. Additionally, these advertising agencies also convince some influential people such as actors or cricketers for advertising. By watching such ads, many people are attracted, as they have a significant impact on consumers.

However, it is not the case for many people and junk food advertising does not majorly contribute to this problem. As, few of the people are not always attracted by ads and have sufficient amount of self-control about their eating habits. Furthermore, fast lifestyle and increased amount of stress also lead to obesity and various health concerns.For example, in India, many employees who leave far from their home eat junk food as it is easy and quick to make and also they can not provide enough time for cooking everyday. Additionally, the trend of physical activities such as walking, running, jogging, etc have been reduced among individuals that contributes to obesity.

In summary, junk food advertising play a crucial role to promote various food products and brands to attract more and more consumers. However, it is not the only problem for this cause. In my opinion, change in living habits, higher stress level, and reduction in physical activities also have a substantial influence on people's eating habits. And hence, food advertising should not be banned, as it is not the only concern of obesity and people must develope self control about their eating habits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You discuss both views and give a clear opinion: advertising can influence consumers, but you do not think it should be banned because other factors also contribute to obesity. The examples about social-media promotion and employees choosing convenient food help make the discussion relevant. This meets the task well, though the two sides are not equally developed. The case for banning advertising is supported with examples of persuasive marketing, but the opposing view relies mainly on self-control and lifestyle pressures; these points could be explained more fully and linked more directly to why a ban would be ineffective. Your conclusion restates your position, but could make the reasoning behind it more decisive. More balanced development would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. The progression from advertising’s influence to other causes of obesity is generally understandable. However, cohesion is often mechanical or awkward: repeated openings such as “However” and “Additionally” make the links feel formulaic, while “Above them all” does not clearly connect the ideas. Some sentences begin with “As” or “As,” and remain dependent clauses, which interrupts the flow. The conclusion also repeats points from the body rather than synthesising them. Use clearer topic sentences, vary linking methods, and make each paragraph’s central claim explicit so the reader can follow the argument more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “substantial impact,” “self-control,” “influential people,” and “physical activities.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond basic vocabulary. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors sometimes distract the reader, such as “imoortant,” “relictant,” “advertisments,” and “temptating.” Some combinations are also unnatural, including “fast food products utilization” and “provide information on numerous variety.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than more elaborate wording: for example, describe the “consumption of fast food” and say that advertisements “promote” products. Proofreading spelling and checking whether words fit their context would make your vocabulary more precise and easier to read.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “as,” “that,” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually clear. Some errors in sentence structure, agreement, and punctuation remain. For example, “As junk food advertising play” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “As, few of the people…” is an incorrectly punctuated dependent clause. “The level of obesity has been increased” also uses an unsuitable passive construction, and “employees who leave far from their home” contains an error in the grammatical pattern. Several sentences run together, as in “health concerns.For example,”. Practise forming complete sentences and checking agreement, verb forms, and punctuation; greater control of these patterns would make your complex sentences more reliable.

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