Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world, Obesity is regarded as one of the most prevalent problem among humans. Various people attritube it to different causes such as some people are of the view that advertisement of the junk food is the main cause and it should be banned while another group is of the view that advertisement has nothing to do with obesity.

According to research or medical knowledge, there are two causes of obesity; one type is modifiable risk factors while the other type is non-modifiable risk factors. It means some causes like unhealthy eating lifestyle and lack of exercise can be avoided through prevention while the other cause is fixed and it can't be changed like Age, Genetic factor or Family history etc. So in some socities, some people only relate it to junk food while others are of the view that junk food is not mere the cause of obesity it can be attributed to many factors so just banning advertisements related to the junk food is not the solution.

In my opinion, however junk food can be attributed to obesity but banning or blocking advertisements related to junk food is not the solution to the problem. As no advertisements doesn't mean junk food has been finished from the world. In this way, first cause for obesity should be identified and then plan should be made accordingly. Like if it's related to unhealthy eating lifestyle like junk food then plan should be made for it. Therefore, advertisements should not be banned.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a clear opinion that advertising should not be banned, and you acknowledge both the view that junk-food advertising contributes to obesity and the counterargument that obesity has several causes. The distinction between modifiable and non-modifiable risk factors is relevant and gives your discussion a useful basis. However, the two views are not explored equally: the case for banning advertising is mostly introduced rather than explained, and the response does not give a concrete example or evidence showing how advertising affects eating habits. Your own position is clear, but the reasoning that identifying causes is preferable to banning advertisements needs further explanation. Develop each side with a specific supporting point, then connect that evidence directly to your conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining different causes of obesity, and a final paragraph stating your opinion. Linking expressions such as “while,” “So,” and “Therefore” help show relationships between ideas. However, progression is sometimes difficult to follow because the second paragraph combines medical risk factors with the opposing views about advertising, rather than developing these points in a clear sequence. Some connections are also mechanical or unclear, particularly “So in some societies” and “In this way.” Use separate paragraphs to explain each view, and make each paragraph’s main point explicit. Clearer references and more precise transitions would help the reader follow how the evidence leads to your conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “modifiable risk factors,” “lack of exercise,” and “family history,” which allows you to discuss causes with some specificity. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “attributed to” and “prevention.” However, the range is limited in places, and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make the meaning less natural: “prevalent problem among humans,” “not mere the cause,” and “advertisement of the junk food.” Spelling errors such as “attritube” and “socities” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing advertising and public health, and check spelling and collocations carefully. This would make your argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “while,” “that,” and “if,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, complex sentences are not consistently controlled. For example, “some people are of the view that advertisement … while another group is of the view” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “As no advertisements doesn't mean junk food has been finished from the world” is an incomplete and awkwardly constructed sentence. There are also errors with articles, plurals, and punctuation, as in “one of the most prevalent problem” and the capitalisation of “Age.” Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses. Review agreement and article use, and punctuate sentence boundaries clearly.

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