Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Obesity has become a significant public concern in many societies. While some people argue that advertising for juncj food is a major contributor to this problem and should therefore be prohibited, others believe that such marketing campagins aren`t directly responsible for increasing obesity rates. In my view, reducing the number of these advertisments can surely help in decreasing the cases of obesity but it also needs a broader approach such as promoting balanced diet and physical activity.

One compelling argument in favour of banning junk food advertisments is that they encourage unhealthy eating habits especially amoung the children. Through colorful characters, visuial contrast and promotional offers they grab the attention of viewers and convience them to buy the products. These highly processed foods are calorie dense and cause weight gain. Repeated exposure to these ads makes people choose fast food over healthy alternatives. For instance, children exposed to these repatitive marketing campagins leads them to crave these with children prefering burgers and snacks over home made foods

In contrast, obesity is influenced by personal choices and lifestyle rather than just advertisments. A sedentary lifestyle and lack of physical activity in daily routine is another contributing factor. Promoting daily jogging and walks or maybe a personalized training session at a gym can be great alternatives to reduce obesity. But balanced diet and concious healthy eat can also help with obseity. It can help in maintaing a normal weight and proper calorie intake with propotioned meals throught the day inside of binge eating anytime. Thus people need to make conscience choices to eradicate obseity from societies.

Nevertheless, not only bann on advertisments will help but long term changes to lifestyle also need to be made for better future results.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear position: advertising restrictions may help, but wider lifestyle changes are also needed. The first body paragraph explains how child-focused advertising can encourage unhealthy choices, while the second presents personal habits and inactivity as other causes. These are relevant points, but some are less fully developed than others. For example, the claim that repeated exposure leads children to prefer fast food would be stronger with a specific example or explanation of how advertising influences purchasing. The opposing view also focuses mainly on lifestyle factors rather than explaining directly why advertising should not be banned. Develop that case more explicitly, then support your conclusion with a clearer comparison of the two positions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph for each view, and a concluding statement. Signposting such as “In contrast” and “Nevertheless” helps readers follow the shift between arguments. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear. The example beginning “For instance” becomes difficult to follow because it repeats the point about children and does not form a clear sentence. In the second body paragraph, exercise, diet, and personal responsibility are placed together without a clear sequence explaining how each supports the opposing view. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s main point, and connect examples directly to that point. A fuller conclusion that restates your judgement would also make the progression feel more complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “significant public concern,” “sedentary lifestyle,” “calorie dense,” and “balanced diet,” which helps communicate the topic. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “promotional offers” and “repeated exposure.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable, including “juncj,” “campagins,” “visuial,” and “obseity.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “conscious healthy eat” and “eradicate obesity from societies.” These do not usually prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and control. Proofread carefully and learn common collocations for health and advertising; choosing accurate, natural phrases is more effective than using ambitious wording inaccurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a contrast clause beginning “While some people argue…” and a sentence explaining that advertising “can surely help…but it also needs a broader approach.” Most of the main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “children exposed to these repetitive marketing campaigns leads them” has a mismatch between the subject and verb, and the following phrase, “with children preferring,” does not connect grammatically to the sentence. The final paragraph also begins with the awkward construction “not only bann on advertisements will help.” Work on subject–verb agreement, complete sentence structure, and parallel phrasing. Revising long sentences into clear clauses will help you retain variety while improving accuracy.

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