Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the contemporary era, obesity has become a serious problem in many societies. Some people believe that advertisements for junk food are responsible for this issue and should be banned, while other argue that these advertisements are not the main cause of obesity. In my opinion, junk food advertising contributes to the problem,especially among the children, but banning advertisements alone cannot solve it.This essay will articulate both the perspectives along with my own view.

To commence first view,many people believe that junk food advertisements encourage people to eat unhealthy food. These advertisements often show attractive pictures, special customers. children are especially influenced by such promotions because they may not understand the harmful effect of eating too much junk food. For example, children who regularly see advertisements for burger, pizzas and soft drinks may ask their parents to buy these products. As a result, restricting junk food advertising, particularly during children's television programmes, could help reduce unhealthy eating habits.

On the other hand, the other group of individuals think , that advertisements are not only the reason for obesity.People 's lifestyles and personal choies also play an important role. Many individuals gain weight because they consume too many calories and do not exercise regularly.Busy parents may also choose fast food because it is convenienet and saves time.Furthermore,some people continue to buy junk food even when they are not exposed to advertisements. Therefore, education about healthy eating and regular physical activity are also necessary to control obesity.

In conclusion, although junk food advertising can encourage unhealthy eating habits, it is not the only cause of obesity. I believe that advertising restrictions, combined with health education and regular exercise, would be a more effective way to address this groweing problem.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address both views and state a consistent position: advertising can contribute to unhealthy eating, but restrictions alone will not solve obesity. The two body paragraphs give relevant support, including children requesting advertised products and the roles of diet, exercise, and convenience. This meets the task well. To strengthen the response further, develop the reasoning behind each point with more specific explanation or evidence. For instance, you could explain how advertising shapes children’s preferences over time, or clarify how health education and activity programmes might complement restrictions. The opposing view is relevant but somewhat general, and the examples are illustrative rather than fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion that restates your position. Linking expressions such as “On the other hand,” “Furthermore,” and “Therefore” help readers follow the argument, and each paragraph has a recognisable focus. Some transitions are formulaic, however, including “To commence first view” and “the other group of individuals,” which make the progression less natural. There are also spacing and punctuation problems around sentence boundaries that interrupt the flow. Use more direct topic sentences and connect ideas through clear cause-and-effect relationships rather than relying mainly on signposting phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for discussing the topic, with useful expressions such as “unhealthy eating habits,” “personal choices,” “health education,” and “physical activity.” You also attempt more formal phrasing, including “restricting junk food advertising” and “address this growing problem.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “special customers” where the intended meaning is unclear, and “the harmful effect” when referring generally to consequences. Spelling errors such as “choies,” “convenienet,” and “groweing” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural combinations and proofread carefully; this will make your argument sound more controlled and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concession in “although junk food advertising can encourage…” and a conditional-style explanation of how children may respond to promotions. Meaning remains clear throughout, and several sentences are well controlled. Some grammatical and punctuation errors persist, though. For example, “other argue” needs subject–verb agreement, and “children are especially influenced” is incorrectly separated from the preceding sentence by a full stop. Missing spaces after punctuation and inconsistent commas also affect accuracy. Practise checking agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation, while continuing to use subordinate clauses and varied sentence patterns.

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