Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The whole word is delaing with obesity issue. Junk food promotion is largely to blame for this problem and should be prohibited. Fast food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. Both have advantages and disadvantages I will try to explain with my arguments. advertisement of junk food is cause a obesity due to the fact that social media is available at every home still children. In addition, exercise and limited eating leads to healthy life style.

Firstly, Fast food palys a crucial role in obesity because this makes from unhealthy things like as breads, cheese, mionese, and also ketchup etc. moreover advertisement should be banned because everyone utilize mobile phones nowadays, still children, promotions motivates to everyone for unnecessary things. childrens have not aware about the good and bad they do what they think. For example, fast food leads to many physical issues like ad heart attack cholesterol etc.

secondly people are not interested in morning walk or exercise, they eqt day and night with irregularly. for instance, a person run every morning regularly cholesterol automatically will be removed from body he feel comfortable and happy and also smart to himself. Exercise is a good habit for best physical health.

from my perspectives, promotions shoulf be banned only unnecessary because they they motivate or encourage to children for buying. furthermore different activities like as exerciss running and sports Center shuold be implemented in societies fir better mental well being and physical helath.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic and give a position that advertising should be banned, especially because it may encourage children to buy unhealthy food. You also mention exercise and healthier habits. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the opposing argument—that advertising does not cause obesity and should not be banned—is not meaningfully explained. Several points are asserted rather than supported; for example, the claim that fast food causes heart attacks and cholesterol problems needs clearer explanation or evidence. The response contains 225 words, so it is 25 words below the required minimum; this limits the space available to develop the discussion. Address each view directly, then explain your own position with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, points beginning with “Firstly” and “secondly,” and a concluding opinion. This gives the reader some sense of the intended structure. However, progression is difficult to follow because ideas are loosely connected: the paragraph about exercise shifts from advertising to personal routines without explaining how this relates to the debate. Linking words such as “moreover,” “for example,” and “furthermore” are used, but they do not always show a clear relationship between claims. Paragraphing and sentence boundaries also need more control. To improve, give each paragraph one clear purpose—one for each view and one for your opinion—and connect examples explicitly to the point they support.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “obesity,” “advertisement,” “unhealthy,” “physical issues,” and “exercise,” so the subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning harder to understand. Examples include “the whole word” for the whole world, “makes from unhealthy things,” and “promotions motivates.” Spelling errors such as “mionese,” “exerciss,” and “helath” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing causes and policy, and check spelling and word forms. Using accurate expressions such as “contribute to obesity” and “restrict advertising” would make your argument clearer and more appropriate to the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few longer sentences, including “advertisement of junk food is cause a obesity due to the fact that social media is available at every home,” but most structures are simple or incomplete, and errors are frequent enough to make some relationships unclear. There are problems with verb forms and agreement (“promotions motivates,” “they do what they think”), articles and plurals (“a obesity,” “childrens”), and sentence boundaries, including the opening run-on. The sentence about a person running every morning also shifts between “a person,” “he,” and “himself” without a clear grammatical pattern. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Careful proofreading for articles, verb agreement, and punctuation would improve readability.

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