Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is widely argued that some people believe that obesity is regarded as a major problem and junk food advertising is largly to blame for this proplem whereas others believe that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity.Both perspectives have their own merits and are supported by convincing arguments.This essay wil discuss both viewpoints before explaning why i believe that advertising is not cause of obesity is more beneficial practical. On the other hand, supportersv of advertising and junk food argue that because they think advertising is been used for product sales and many organization hair new actors or social media influencer for the advertisment of their product.Furthermore,they also utilize many different location of urban areas such as famous shopping malls,cinemas and park to boost their sales by putting ad of their products.For example indivisuals are went to cinema to watched their favourite movies they also saw the advertisment of many junk foods like burger that action made their toward the junk foods. As a result, the advertisment companies earn much in return.Therefore, many people consider this approach to be highly effective. On the other hand, those who support obesity is due to junk food advertising believe that

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The introduction identifies the two opposing views and signals an opinion, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the essay addresses the task only minimally: the first body paragraph mainly describes how companies advertise, rather than explaining the view that advertising does not contribute to obesity, and the second view is left unfinished after “those who support obesity is due to junk food advertising believe that”. Your own position is also difficult to interpret in “advertising is not cause of obesity is more beneficial practical.” The response contains 191 words, below the required 250; this leaves too little space to develop both sides and support your opinion. Complete the discussion and explain your position with a clear reason and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an identifiable introduction and an attempt to organise the discussion into body paragraphs. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “For example,” and “As a result” show an effort to connect points. However, the overall progression is unclear: the first body paragraph begins “On the other hand” without a clearly established first side, and the next paragraph repeats the same transition before ending mid-sentence. The ideas about advertising locations, cinema audiences, and company earnings are not clearly connected to the essay’s central debate about obesity. To improve, give each paragraph one clear purpose, use transitions that accurately signal contrast or addition, and finish each point by linking it back to the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “obesity,” “junk food advertising,” “product sales,” and “social media influencer,” which helps communicate the general subject. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “boost their sales.” However, the range is limited and several spelling or word-choice errors make the writing less clear, including “largly,” “proplem,” “advertisment,” and “indivisuals.” Some phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “their own merits” and “that action made their toward the junk foods.” Aim to use accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “influence purchasing choices” and “contribute to weight gain” would help express the argument clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast in the opening sentence and a reason introduced by “because.” Some basic meaning is understandable, but complex structures are often faulty and errors occur frequently. For example, “advertising is been used” has an incorrect verb form, while “individuals are went to cinema to watched” combines incompatible verb forms and omits necessary articles. The sentence “advertising is not cause of obesity is more beneficial practical” is difficult to follow because its clauses are not joined correctly. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check tense, articles, and clause structure. Shorter, accurate sentences would make the argument easier to understand.

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