Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Over the past decade often argues, obesity has become a growing concern among society, it isued between some people that promotion of junk food is the key factor of increasing the probelm of obesity and it should be complelety abolised , while others believe that publicity of this junk food do not have any contribution in this probelm and it should not be banned. Both the views will be discussed in this essay with my opinion as well.

There can be numerous reasons why people consider the promotion of junk food as a cause of increased obesity. One of the key factor is that fast food contains a lot of spices and calories that boost the fats in one,s body and can lead to serious health realted problems such as obesity, and reduction in the digestive system. For instance, fried chinese and japanese food such as momos and noodles are quiet famous in india and these and made up in oil that contains a significantnumber of calories that can contibute in the increased obesity.

On the contaray, it is acknowledged by some people that advertisment of junk food do not have any major contribution in obesity as there can be several other factors also that rise the level of fat in a person's body. It is believed by youths that junk food do not any negative conseqences if its intake is in a limited ammount ,infact it is scientifically proven that eating momos in a week can contribute in the reduction of daily stress.

In conclusion, I think advert of junk food should not be completely banned but some precautions should be suggested with the promotion aa it do not have any major effect on increased fat in a person's body untill it is not taken in the extreme ammount.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a clear final position: advertising should not be completely banned, but precautions are needed. The first body paragraph offers a relevant explanation about calories and gives an example of fried foods; the second presents the counter-view that other factors and moderate intake matter. However, the discussion is only partially developed. The claim that advertising itself increases obesity is not clearly explained, and the opposing view is supported by the questionable assertion that eating momos weekly reduces stress rather than evidence about obesity or advertising. Your conclusion also repeats the position without resolving the competing arguments. Develop each side with a direct link between advertising, food choices, and obesity, then support your opinion with a more relevant example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable essay structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “On the contrary” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from advertising to food ingredients and then to examples without explaining how promotion changes eating behaviour. Some linking is mechanical, and the long opening sentence combines several ideas in a way that makes the position harder to follow. The conclusion’s reference to “precautions” is not developed earlier. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports; shorter sentences and more precise referencing would make the argument easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “promotion,” “contribution,” “calories,” “health-related problems,” and “limited amount.” This gives you some means of discussing causes and effects. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to read, such as “probem,” “complelety abolised,” “contibute,” and “advertisment.” Some combinations are also unnatural, including “boost the fats” and “reduction in the digestive system.” Choose accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, describe food as “high in calories” and say it “may contribute to weight gain”; these phrases express your intended meaning more precisely and are appropriate for an academic discussion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while,” “as,” and “that.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation frequently affect clarity. The opening is a run-on sentence, while “it is believed by youths that junk food do not any negative consequences” has an incomplete verb construction and incorrect agreement. In “Both the views will be discussed,” the article and plural form are not controlled, and apostrophes and commas are often missing or misplaced. Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then combine ideas with accurate subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries during proofreading.

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