Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Obesity is becoming a serious issues day by day in some societies. some argue that this probelm is hapenning becuase of advertising junk food and this advertising policy should be banned, while others think that marketing is not the reason for this issue and should not be banned. I will discuss both views and will share my opinion at the end of the essay.
To begin with, some group of people believe that advertising of junk food is main reason to increasing obesity issue significantly because it encourage children and young people to consume junk food. For example, nowadays, technology has become more convenient and every children including adults use digital devices through which they watch different types of marketing involving food marketing. With the help of this, children get attracted and try junk foods constantly. As a result, they gain weight in a wrong way and face serious health issue such as obesity.
However, others debate that marketing does not paly any significant role and should not be banned as parents are one who should be blamed failing in guiding their kids properly. To illustrate, young kids spend most of their time with their parents. If parents does not observe their children properly, their kids might adopt habitants of eating unhealthy foods which cuased them obesity in their body.
From my perspective, advertising and parents both plays a crucial role in preventing obesity. if parents take care of their children properly and limit their habit of eating junk food this issue can be ressolved effortlessly. Furthermore, marketing should also promote things which will benefit people in a proper way.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You address both views and give a personal position, so the response is relevant to the task. The first body paragraph explains how advertising can attract children to unhealthy food, while the second presents parental guidance as an alternative explanation. Your conclusion also suggests that both parents and marketers have a role. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the opposing view is framed mainly as parents being responsible, rather than explaining why advertising itself may have little effect. Your own position is also not fully clear on whether junk-food advertising should be banned; saying it should promote beneficial products does not directly settle this. Develop each side with a clearer reason and example, then state your policy view explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a concluding paragraph. Transitions such as “To begin with,” “However,” and “From my perspective” help readers follow the discussion. The progression is generally understandable, although some links between claims are not fully explained. For instance, the move from children seeing food marketing to gaining weight is presented as a direct result without showing the intervening choices or habits. The conclusion also introduces the idea that marketing should promote beneficial things, which is not developed earlier. Build clearer links between each claim and its consequence, and make the final paragraph draw together the arguments already discussed rather than adding a new point.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “junk food,” “advertising,” “obesity,” “consume,” and “health issue,” and the main ideas remain understandable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems make the writing less precise. Examples include “serious issues” for a singular problem, “marketing involving food marketing,” and “adopt habitants of eating unhealthy foods.” There are also noticeable misspellings such as “probem,” “hapenning,” and “resolvd,” which can distract the reader. Aim for more accurate topic-specific phrases and check spelling carefully; for example, use “unhealthy eating habits” and “contribute to rising obesity rates” instead of less natural combinations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional sentence beginning “If parents…” and a result clause introduced by “As a result.” These structures help express cause and consequence, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make sentences difficult to process. For example, “it encourage children” has subject–verb disagreement, “every children” has an incorrect plural form, and “If parents does not observe” has an incorrect verb form. The sentence beginning “To illustrate” also contains an unclear construction: “parents are one who should be blamed failing in guiding their kids.” Practise agreement, articles, and conditional clauses, and proofread each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.
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