Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There has been an ongoing debate about whether obesity is regarded as a major problem in most societies.A group of individuals believe that promoting junk food is a significant cause of obesity. While other argue that junk food advertising does not cause for any problem of obesity and should not be banned.This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion.

On the one hand, proponents strongly believe that advertisments of fast food causes obesity issue in population. Advertisements encourage people to eat unhealthy food because ads shows delicious burgers, pizzas, loaded fries and many other tasty food which mostly attracts adults and childrens.As a result, people buy these kinds of products without considering their negative impacts on their health. A particularly good example of this a child who regular watch ads of burgers and fries may ask his parents to eat them instead of homemade food.Therfore, banning such type of food could help reduce the chances of obesity and also lessen the consumption of junk food.

On the other hand, critics contend that promoting these unhealthy food does not contribute to the problem of obesity. They considered that public automatically attracts towards unhealthy diet because they do not have enough time to prepare homemade food. Another significant reason is that ads do not force general populance to order and eat pizza and other meals instead this is completely depend on people who give priority to dangerous food over the healthy meal.They said that lack of physical activities and personal choices causes problems such as obesity. For example a person who spend his most of time in leisure and sitting free more likely to become overweight. Furthermore, companies runs advertisements to promote their products and attracts its customers so ads should not be banned. From my perspective, strict regulations on ads targeting children, along running campaigns raises awareness about healthy meal should be an effective approach to solve this problem.

In conclusion, ads should not be stop completely because they are not the single cause of obesity, government should play an important role in reminding people about exercise and healthy diet.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear personal position: you support restrictions on advertising aimed at children, but argue that advertising should not be banned altogether. The examples about children requesting advertised food and people becoming overweight through inactivity are relevant. However, the discussion is unevenly developed. The first view explains how advertising can influence food choices, while the opposing view relies mainly on lack of time, personal choice and inactivity without showing in much detail why advertising has little effect. Your conclusion also shifts towards government reminders about exercise and diet rather than fully drawing together the two arguments. Develop each side with a more specific explanation or example, and make the final position consistent with the proposed regulations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the discussion. Within paragraphs, however, some links feel mechanical, and the progression is occasionally unclear. For example, the second body paragraph moves from time pressures to personal choice, then inactivity, and finally companies’ right to advertise without clearly connecting these points. The sentence beginning “From my perspective” appears inside that paragraph, so your own view is not fully separated from the opposing argument. Use clearer topic sentences and transitions that show how each point supports the paragraph’s main claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “negative impacts,” “physical activities,” “personal choices,” and “strict regulations,” which allows you to discuss the issue. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “proponents” and “critics contend.” However, inaccurate word choice, spelling and collocation are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less natural: “advertisments,” “general populance,” “dangerous food,” and “causes obesity issue” are examples. Some expressions are also repetitive, particularly references to “ads” and “junk food.” Aim for precise, natural combinations such as “advertising influences food choices” and “the general population,” and check spelling and word forms carefully. This would make your vocabulary more controlled and flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional example about a child who watches food advertisements and a contrast introduced by “While.” This shows some range, but errors in sentence structure and control recur. For instance, “While other argue” is an incomplete contrast clause, and “a child who regular watch ads … may ask” has problems with adverb form and subject–verb agreement. Other examples include “ads shows,” “companies runs,” and “this is completely depend on people.” Punctuation and spacing also need attention, especially where sentences run together after full stops. Practise building accurate complex sentences and check agreement, verb forms and clause boundaries; clearer control would make your arguments easier to read.

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