Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays , anxiety is very crucious in every society it's a major problem . Some person thought that junk food ads has overcome and these should be restricted . On other hand some thought that these advertisements not contribute to the issue of obesity and not be banned .This essay will discuss both views and i'll discuss my own views .

As teenagers used social media apps like instagram , snapchat and facebook so it contains advertisements of junk foods and also many irrelevant ads . While watching people used to buy the products and if it i svery costly they felt very depressed and come in order to anxiety . Main reasons are like by having fast foods in much quantity may leads to more fat and less work after eating foodstuffs are very oily and cause sickness . On my opinion the ads should be prohibited in our nation .

Ads are not only the main reason for leading depression and anxiety ther are much more causes like much use of social media ,Nowadays childrens dont spend their time with family or friend most of time is highlghted by the apps . Adolsents use their mobile phones for quality of time . So this is also a major reason for obesity .

To conclude , i think that ads are also responcible for obesity and also much use of social platforms aaaaais also blamed so .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“the ads should be prohibited”—and later acknowledge that social media use may also contribute to obesity. However, the response only minimally addresses the question: it does not clearly explain the view that advertising does not contribute to obesity, and much of the discussion shifts to anxiety and depression rather than the stated issue. The link between seeing advertisements, buying food, and becoming obese is asserted but not developed with a clear example or evidence. The conclusion repeats that ads and social platforms are responsible without resolving the two views. The response is also 12 words below the required minimum. To strengthen your answer, explain both sides directly, keep the discussion focused on obesity, and support your opinion with relevant reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic essay shape, with an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and phrases such as “On the other hand” and “To conclude” signal stages of the response. However, the ideas do not progress clearly: the first body paragraph moves from social-media advertising to anxiety, then to the effects of oily food, while the next shifts to family relationships and phone use. These connections are difficult to follow, and the second viewpoint is not clearly separated from your own argument. Some linking is also awkward or incomplete, as in “While watching people used to buy the products.” Organise each body paragraph around one view, use clear topic sentences, and make references such as “these” and “this” point unmistakably to an idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “junk food,” “advertisements,” “obesity,” “social media,” and “prohibited,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unclear choices make meaning harder to follow. For example, “anxiety is very crucial” does not express the intended idea naturally, and “ads has overcome” is unclear. There are also spelling and word-form errors such as “crucious,” “Adolsents,” and “responcible,” alongside repeated use of “ads” and “major problem.” Build a more precise set of expressions for advertising and health, and check spelling and collocations. For instance, distinguish between advertising’s influence on food choices and other factors that affect obesity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “As teenagers use social media apps…” and a contrast introduced by “While.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “Some person thought,” “junk food ads has,” and “these advertisements not contribute,” where number agreement or auxiliary verbs are missing. The opening also runs several clauses together without reliable sentence boundaries, and punctuation spacing is inconsistent. In “may leads,” the modal verb is followed by an incorrect verb form. Practise building accurate basic clauses first, then combine them with clear connectors: for example, “Some people believe that advertisements contribute to obesity, while others argue that they have little effect.”

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